Definition of being a girlfriend

What does it mean to be someone's Girlfriend? How is it defined? How are boundaries set? I look over my past 12 years of really being part of the dating world (I started at the late age of 18) and I still don't really know. I've never really liked the word "Boyfriend" We're in our late 20s and early 30s! If someone considers you their girlfriend, what does it mean? What are the expectations? How do you have that conversation - without putting too much pressure and making things too claustrophobic?

the other woman

I told my mom that I hadn't seen the guy I was dating for a while and that our time is really limited. I mentioned how, his ex found out he was dating me and that she was pretty upset. When I hung out with the guy on Monday, he omitted the fact that I was with him - to keep the peace. They would be spending Christmas Day together, so it'd be best to not add fuel to the fire. I understand that - and wanted him to have a good holiday. Well, Christmas is over. It's been 6 days and I haven't seen him. My mother said to me... "you're the other woman".


(NOTE: Look up Sugarland and Stay to see the real video on Youtube).

Will that always be the case for a girl who is involved with a guy who has an ex? Will the ex always be involved? I'm thinking yes. So who comes first?

impatience

I've decided I'm really an impatient person - when it comes to Love. I've been dating a guy for a little while (really only a few months). Well, it's complicated... but then, isn't every relationship? Here's the complication, he has a 7 year old daughter and an ex-wife who relies on him a lot. I don't know enough of the details because he hasn't shared them. So here's the deal, the facts are that he hasn't had any time for me this week, the fact that I've had one email, and there are not future plans of when we're going to meet again.... does that all lead to the fact that he just considers me as someone who is replaceable or expendable? We haven't had much time together the last month - and yet, when we're together, it's nice. He's come over to just help me put together shelves in my garage, or hang out while I was painting the bathroom. I hung out with him on Monday to help him go shopping for his daugher and her two half-sisters. When I was with him on Monday, he made sure I knew how to get to his house. He talked about things that lead me to think that he's thinking that we'll be hanging out more in the future. I know that his ex- had him taking care of the girls all week, so he really didn't have time for me. I haven't met his daughter yet. When is the right time to meet someone's child? I've never been in this situation before? I really do want to spend more time with him and get to know him. Does that mean, that I should ask him about meeting his daughter? Or, should I assume that we're not far along enough in the relationship - to take that step. I'd say we've been on 15 dates or so. He doesn't make any promises.

We use to send emails every night - and then they've stopped this month. His work got super busy. This is their crunch time at work. So, do I just learn to have patience? Do I let the holidays pass and then see how things go?
I guess the thing that frustrates me is that I was actually in town this week. I wasn't traveling. So, it was a great opportunity on my side - for the two of us to have time together. Nothing happened since Christmas Eve day. During that day, his ex called him 4+ times.

I don't know whether to be frustrated, or to slap myself and to tell myself to just be patient.

Head Under Water

Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
You made room for me but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me
I'm not gonna write you a love song'cause you asked for it'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song'cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better Reason to write you a love song today
I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

No One

I emailed my parents this week to let them know I was dating someone not of my faith. I'm not in love with him at this point - but I like him. I want to get know him more. My parents are visiting in a few weeks and I didn't want them to think I was hiding anything.



This song keeps playing on the radio (Alicia Keys, "No One"). I think that it kind of applies.