Dr. M texted me on Sunday, "you are real" in response to something I said. I find it interesting how he has used the word real a couple times this past month. He's real for me. REAL. It's a word that had great meaning in the conversations and my past relationship from last summer. Only this time it's got the depth and meaning truly behind the word.
Every once in a while, I look at pics of Mr. R and think about the past experience. It doesn't hurt. I don't wish or hope for him at all. I don't have any respect for what he put me through and the way he was and what he did. I can't believe I went through that. It's really why i'm offended (dislike) that my dad's first question was, "is he worthy to go to the temple". Mr. R was technically a temple attender, active, YM president.... all of those great things that we look for and look what he REALLY was.
I look at Dr. M and I know he's REAL. I know his Heart. I know who HE is. That's what is important to me. He's important to me.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Did you say you'd marry me?
In the midst of my conversation with Dr. M, I told him what I had told my parents, "I'll only marry you if I feel like we'll marry in the temple someday... that is to say that we'd be sealed in the temple someday."
"Did you just say you'd marry me?"
I stayed silent.
-- Right now, I feel like it's only a matter of time before Dr. M and I get married. Is that crazy? I feel this differently than I have with the other people I've dated. Maybe because my feelings are matched by the other person in the relationship.
In that conversation, I mentioned that after 3 months (we reached it last week), the guys disappear or the relationship for me just fades. He told me he isn't going to do that. And I know that. I just think it's interesting the timelines I've had in my life.
Dr. M said, the only reasons we would break up now are: 1)"he" messes up. 2). church 3). we get tired of the distance traveling.
So...that's where we're at. Ummmmmmm
Right now, we talk about eloping to New Zealand. I told him we can't, he doesn't have a valid passport. He suggested Idaho (NO), Montana (NO), some town in WA (NO).
Too funny. Although, it seems like eloping would be a good way to get married.... lots less stress in the process but we'd still have to deal with the after (friends and family and logistics of where we live).
"Did you just say you'd marry me?"
I stayed silent.
-- Right now, I feel like it's only a matter of time before Dr. M and I get married. Is that crazy? I feel this differently than I have with the other people I've dated. Maybe because my feelings are matched by the other person in the relationship.
In that conversation, I mentioned that after 3 months (we reached it last week), the guys disappear or the relationship for me just fades. He told me he isn't going to do that. And I know that. I just think it's interesting the timelines I've had in my life.
Dr. M said, the only reasons we would break up now are: 1)"he" messes up. 2). church 3). we get tired of the distance traveling.
So...that's where we're at. Ummmmmmm
Right now, we talk about eloping to New Zealand. I told him we can't, he doesn't have a valid passport. He suggested Idaho (NO), Montana (NO), some town in WA (NO).
Too funny. Although, it seems like eloping would be a good way to get married.... lots less stress in the process but we'd still have to deal with the after (friends and family and logistics of where we live).
Nephew Texting and family :)
This weekend, I conveniently was the driver for my nephew to a swim meet in the town near Dr. M's home. The whole three hours, my nephew texted on my phone, played games and played Pandora. It was interesting to hear his music choices. He's 14! I drove to the swimming pool, dropped of A, then drove to my sister's. I knew she and her husband were going on a kayaking date that afternoon. I found out Dr. M wasn't going to meet me at my sister's (so I could leave my car and we'd be in one car the rest of the day) until 2-ish (after golfing all morning). I called my sister to find out if she wanted to go to lunch before her date. She said, "hold on" and 10 minutes later, she got back on the phone and asked me to be the driver for them, to let them use my car to hold the kayaks at the pick-up point. Okay, that works for me. I'm super happy to help them, especially because I'm using their house as a sleeping point as I hang out 99% of the time with Dr. M.
I arrived and the kayaks weren't on their mini-van. There was some confusion but it's all good, I went with my sister to drop off my car. She really wanted Dr. M and I to stay and eat with them, either before they went on their date or after. I knew Dr. M was tired and he told me he was muddy. My sister was super insistent, so finally I gave in, texted Dr. M as a warning :) and let him know that she REALLY wanted us to eat. I told her we couldn't stay and watch her kids (they are over-protective of their kids and were nervous to leave the 13 and 12 year olds in charge) that we were hungry and we could eat THEN but not LATER.
Dr. M really wasn't muddy. He came in looking pretty good. Khaki pants, and a blue collared golf shirt. At the hem, he had some dried dirt, but really not MUDDY. We hung out for a bit and then went back to his house for a few hours.
I did a basketball March Madness bracket with Dr. M. There have been a million upsets. Dr. M told me that out of 5 million brackets on espn, none of them were accurate. CRAZY! Anyway, we watched Kansas (the #1 top seed) lose and then watched BYU lose to Kansas State. It wasn't a fun game to watch. They should have won. After that, we ran to get to dinner and then picked up my nephew.
We drove back to my sister's so he could go to bed early (he had to start swimming at 7 am on Sunday morning). My brother-in-law invited us to play "Ticket to Ride". It's a fun game, similar to settlers but more strategy in some ways. My sister ended up winning, she even had made me feel bad for her and I helped her cheat, but she still won! Oh well. It was a good evening.
Sunday, i took my nephew to swimming, hung out with Dr. M for an hour, picked up my nephew and drove home. It was a fast weekend!
In the midst of that 1 hour on Sunday, Dr. M and I talked about my conversation with my parents last week and the fact that he was getting more talk from his family. and more... but that's for another post.
I arrived and the kayaks weren't on their mini-van. There was some confusion but it's all good, I went with my sister to drop off my car. She really wanted Dr. M and I to stay and eat with them, either before they went on their date or after. I knew Dr. M was tired and he told me he was muddy. My sister was super insistent, so finally I gave in, texted Dr. M as a warning :) and let him know that she REALLY wanted us to eat. I told her we couldn't stay and watch her kids (they are over-protective of their kids and were nervous to leave the 13 and 12 year olds in charge) that we were hungry and we could eat THEN but not LATER.
Dr. M really wasn't muddy. He came in looking pretty good. Khaki pants, and a blue collared golf shirt. At the hem, he had some dried dirt, but really not MUDDY. We hung out for a bit and then went back to his house for a few hours.
I did a basketball March Madness bracket with Dr. M. There have been a million upsets. Dr. M told me that out of 5 million brackets on espn, none of them were accurate. CRAZY! Anyway, we watched Kansas (the #1 top seed) lose and then watched BYU lose to Kansas State. It wasn't a fun game to watch. They should have won. After that, we ran to get to dinner and then picked up my nephew.
We drove back to my sister's so he could go to bed early (he had to start swimming at 7 am on Sunday morning). My brother-in-law invited us to play "Ticket to Ride". It's a fun game, similar to settlers but more strategy in some ways. My sister ended up winning, she even had made me feel bad for her and I helped her cheat, but she still won! Oh well. It was a good evening.
Sunday, i took my nephew to swimming, hung out with Dr. M for an hour, picked up my nephew and drove home. It was a fast weekend!
In the midst of that 1 hour on Sunday, Dr. M and I talked about my conversation with my parents last week and the fact that he was getting more talk from his family. and more... but that's for another post.
What were the flags?
Monday night, my friend B and I went to dinner with 2 other single (30 somethings) from our area. I had never met one of the girls. It was fun to talk with them. The girl I hadn't met, Sasha, was previously married for 3 years. I knew this from my friend but the conversation also came up. B asked Sasha what she would see now as the red-flags. Sasha said that her husband had flashes of anger before they got married. She thought things would change when they got married. She ignored the fact that they fought all the time. She also said, that how he treated her was important and that he was secretive about things (addicted to porn and talking to other women).
Of course, I have to think about my current situation and relationship :).
When I got home, I walked in to find my roommates talking on the stairway. One of them was crying and when I asked why, she said, "Guys are so stupid". I agree! It's true.
I had to run and left my house 5 minutes later. As I was on my way, I called Dr. M. I had to tell him that I had spent the last few hours with several people talking about how stupid men are. I admitted that I contributed to the conversation but I also told him that I called because I just wanted to thank him because I don't have anything to complain about him. It's true.
He texted me later, "are you just saying things like that to make me fall for you more?"
Anyway, At that moment, I just needed to reinforce to him and me, that I really am happy with HIM. I am very spoiled to be dating Dr. M.
Do you know someone who was married before? What were their flags that they wish they had noticed?
Of course, I have to think about my current situation and relationship :).
When I got home, I walked in to find my roommates talking on the stairway. One of them was crying and when I asked why, she said, "Guys are so stupid". I agree! It's true.
I had to run and left my house 5 minutes later. As I was on my way, I called Dr. M. I had to tell him that I had spent the last few hours with several people talking about how stupid men are. I admitted that I contributed to the conversation but I also told him that I called because I just wanted to thank him because I don't have anything to complain about him. It's true.
He texted me later, "are you just saying things like that to make me fall for you more?"
Anyway, At that moment, I just needed to reinforce to him and me, that I really am happy with HIM. I am very spoiled to be dating Dr. M.
Do you know someone who was married before? What were their flags that they wish they had noticed?
Birthday surprise
6:50 AM on my birthday, I get a call from Dr. M. I can tell he's driving and don't technically know why (although I immediately suspected) because he doesn't go to work very early. I asked him where he was and he eventually told me that he was 10 minutes from my house. Well, I immediately got out of bed. I wasn't dressed! I was a mess!!! Luckily, I had taken a shower the night before and dried my hair, so I was okay in that area :).
So I quickly dressed, put on makeup, did my hair and looked out my bedroom door to tell my roommate, E, that Dr. M was coming. She said, "I KNow." So, dr. M had emailed my friend (he has her email from the hippo incident) and told her to warn my roommates.
Dr. M brought me breakfast! It was a whole cookie sheet of cinnamon rolls, sour cream scrambled eggs (ready to cook), juice, cut up mangoes and pineapple, and pineapple pie. He even brought everything in it's own dishes so that he wouldn't leave me a mess! WOW! and then, he had to turn around and drive the 3 hours to work for a meeting. So he only stayed for a few hours - but what a great birthday beginning. I loved it and it was extra amazing of him. He's crazy. 6 hours of driving with very little stopping at my house. But wow, breakfast was GOOD and he just earned major points!
MMMMMM, I think I'm still dreaming of those sticky buns. MMMMMMM. I posted on my facebook that, "i never knew what I was missing was dating a guy who could cook better than me and would drive 3 hours to bring me breakfast". Dr. M's sister saw the posting and gave him a hard time. She asked him what he made and he told her, "Scrambled eggs, nothing too over the top." Her response was, "not over the top but you drove 3 hours to bring her breakfast, leaving your house at 4 am". What's funny is, she doesn't know about all the other stuff he made me for breakfast. He minimized it to eggs!!!
I'm going to her house for Easter dinner, so we'll see if I let out the secret or not. She texted Dr. M this past Sunday and said that we get to sit at the kid table since only married people are adults. (as stated by one of his nieces).
So I quickly dressed, put on makeup, did my hair and looked out my bedroom door to tell my roommate, E, that Dr. M was coming. She said, "I KNow." So, dr. M had emailed my friend (he has her email from the hippo incident) and told her to warn my roommates.
Dr. M brought me breakfast! It was a whole cookie sheet of cinnamon rolls, sour cream scrambled eggs (ready to cook), juice, cut up mangoes and pineapple, and pineapple pie. He even brought everything in it's own dishes so that he wouldn't leave me a mess! WOW! and then, he had to turn around and drive the 3 hours to work for a meeting. So he only stayed for a few hours - but what a great birthday beginning. I loved it and it was extra amazing of him. He's crazy. 6 hours of driving with very little stopping at my house. But wow, breakfast was GOOD and he just earned major points!
MMMMMM, I think I'm still dreaming of those sticky buns. MMMMMMM. I posted on my facebook that, "i never knew what I was missing was dating a guy who could cook better than me and would drive 3 hours to bring me breakfast". Dr. M's sister saw the posting and gave him a hard time. She asked him what he made and he told her, "Scrambled eggs, nothing too over the top." Her response was, "not over the top but you drove 3 hours to bring her breakfast, leaving your house at 4 am". What's funny is, she doesn't know about all the other stuff he made me for breakfast. He minimized it to eggs!!!
I'm going to her house for Easter dinner, so we'll see if I let out the secret or not. She texted Dr. M this past Sunday and said that we get to sit at the kid table since only married people are adults. (as stated by one of his nieces).
Parental Involvement
Last Wednesday, my parents called to wish me a happy birthday. During the course of the conversation, I happened to bring up Dr. M a lot. I was talking about Memorial Day weekend and how I may invite him to go with me to the east coast, but that's all new territory for me... and then just that I had seen him last weekend and would be going up again to see him that next weekend... my dad's firs question was, "Is he worthy to go to he temple?" Now, while this is a valid question in some regards, I don't believe that it should be the #1 question someone is asked. I've NEVER talked to my dad about Dr. M - and to have him ask me that, I just don't think was appropriate.... I ignored he question but after my dad asked it 3 times, I finally said, "Dr. M doesn't go to church that often right now". Thus, began an hour+ long conversation with my parents.
Several things were said and while I have known this conversation was going to happen, i hadn't planned on it happening last week.
Things were said that I don't like and agree with and I'm sure vis a vis. I asked my parents to respect me and have the faith in me that I would only proceed with Dr. M because I felt right about it and did it with a lot of thought and prayer. My dad told me to pray (I do). He told me to talk to my bishop (I have)... I guess my frustration with my parents is they assume that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm 33. Somehow, I might have figured some things out about life by now. I hope. I mentioned several people I know that have made a success of marrying someone who wasn't a member or wasn't active at the time of marriage. My mom: "they are the exception." I said multiple times, "I will only marry Dr. M if I feel confident that someday we will be sealed and married in the temple". It's true. That's what I believe. I can' marry Dr. M without that hope and faith. I'm not there yet. Dr. M, first of all we had not talked about marriage at all (other than joking about eloping to New Zealand), and then we still need to have several conversations about church and beliefs and gospel thoughts and future talk.... eeek! Really? I haven't really been in this situation. Life was simpler in my 20s.
When my dad asked me, "What would you say if your daughter came to you in 30 years and told you she was in this same situation" Me: "it wouldn't have been my first question".
Some of the things that bother me about what was said, is my dad said, "Do you want to be in an old maid..." and I interrupted and said, "I'm not dating Dr. M because I'm desperate or think I'm going to be an old maid... things would be easier in my life NOT to date him." My dad continued, "an old maid in heaven because you aren't sealed to Dr. M?"
My answer, "I'll be sealed to him". My dad, "What if you die first?" Me, "then his family will make sure we're sealed." And I can't tell you exactly how my dad said the following, but he actually implied that because Dr. M wouldn't choose church on earth, then in heaven, he has lost his chance if he dies and hasn't changed.
I strongly STRONGLY disagreed with that thought. I'm SORRY, but that's not what our church believes. I said, "NO WAY, that is BLACK and WHITE in the gospel, and he can be sealed to me if that's what happens..." I asked, "What about Sister Hunter growing up?" My dad, "I suspect her husband was an exception." Huh. REALLY!?!?!!?
My dad just admitted to believing in a double standard. For me, one thing about the gospel, there are no double standards. Also, I believe that in heaven, we have a God of mercy and there are a lot of circumstances and struggles that people have, and only GOD understands the full picture. ONLY God can be that judge and understand why. Only God can decide that something is worthy or not.
I date Dr. M for many reasons, but just 2 Sundays ago, as I was driving home, I realized that I don't believe I could meet someone who loves me more, who cares about me, who puts me first for a lot of things, who wants to make me happy and will do whatever it takes... but also just accepts and loves me for who I am today and however I will be in the future. He accepts and loves ME. Ge recognizes my strengths and weaknesses and loves me anyway. He helps me understand who I am, more than anyone else ever has. I've truly learned a lot about myself as I date him these last 3 months. I'm okay with the NOW ME who is with him, even though I want to improve (lose weight, career wise...), he could care less, he will love me no matter what.
Also, he is true to himself. Yes, we have to have a lot of gospel discussions and decide where that takes us. But, for me, it's line upon line. Dr. M has his dad and friends, family telling him to go back to church. I haven't in so many words said that "yet". Dr. M told me this past Sunday that since he's dating me, it's made his dad a lot bolder in saying things like, 'go back to church.'
Today, one week after my discussion with my parents, my dad emailed me a long letter and Elder Bednar's talk from October Conference. It talks about 3 steps: 1. Share love, 2. share testimony, 3. be consistent.
The irony for me is this is from my dad. huh. Well, people can change and I need to soften my heart in that regard. But in regards to the talk pertaining to Dr. M and I. I would say, what applies most (what is missing) is the sharing of testimony. I've shared some things more in the past weeks, but just little tidbits here and there. I don't make a sermon out of it, but allow myself to speak freely and if it flows into the conversation,then I allow it there. Otherwise, it is a discussion that is looming. We need more time together. Crazy, when we spend every weekend together, but wow, time goes by quickly on the weekends!
--- I know I'm jumping back and forth around the timeline, but that's what i do.---
Back to last week, after the conversation, I went to my brother's house and told him about my discussion with my parents. My brother said that what I need to do now is say, "that's it". I've been open with my parents but that's it. They need to leave me to my peace and my decisions.
When I got this letter this morning, I just sent a quick note back to my dad, "thank you and Elder Bednar is one of my favorite speakers". Gospel discussions are something I've never had with my dad and I don't really want to go there right now.
ON Sunday, I did briefly tell Dr. M about my conversation with my parents. I didn't go into details but told him enough. I also told him, that how my parents live and how I live are very different. I have changed certain things that I think are church culture and not gospel doctrine in my life. I'm okay with that. BUT, my parents don't know those things because they live so far away. I told Dr. M that if I married him, everything I did that my parents didn't like, they would blame him for. I truly believe that. I see that with my brother and his wife. My parents don't agree with certain things they do, they blame the wife. In my case, especially because he's not active but a member, i believe my parents will blame Dr. M.
Sad. I don't know how to just have them concentrate on the good, to not be heart-broken and fasting for the next month because of my choices.
One thing I did ask my parents to do is not tell my sister or brother-in-law about Dr. M's "status" in the church. I don't believe it's their business. I want them to like Dr M for who he is and how he treats me.
Several things were said and while I have known this conversation was going to happen, i hadn't planned on it happening last week.
Things were said that I don't like and agree with and I'm sure vis a vis. I asked my parents to respect me and have the faith in me that I would only proceed with Dr. M because I felt right about it and did it with a lot of thought and prayer. My dad told me to pray (I do). He told me to talk to my bishop (I have)... I guess my frustration with my parents is they assume that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm 33. Somehow, I might have figured some things out about life by now. I hope. I mentioned several people I know that have made a success of marrying someone who wasn't a member or wasn't active at the time of marriage. My mom: "they are the exception." I said multiple times, "I will only marry Dr. M if I feel confident that someday we will be sealed and married in the temple". It's true. That's what I believe. I can' marry Dr. M without that hope and faith. I'm not there yet. Dr. M, first of all we had not talked about marriage at all (other than joking about eloping to New Zealand), and then we still need to have several conversations about church and beliefs and gospel thoughts and future talk.... eeek! Really? I haven't really been in this situation. Life was simpler in my 20s.
When my dad asked me, "What would you say if your daughter came to you in 30 years and told you she was in this same situation" Me: "it wouldn't have been my first question".
Some of the things that bother me about what was said, is my dad said, "Do you want to be in an old maid..." and I interrupted and said, "I'm not dating Dr. M because I'm desperate or think I'm going to be an old maid... things would be easier in my life NOT to date him." My dad continued, "an old maid in heaven because you aren't sealed to Dr. M?"
My answer, "I'll be sealed to him". My dad, "What if you die first?" Me, "then his family will make sure we're sealed." And I can't tell you exactly how my dad said the following, but he actually implied that because Dr. M wouldn't choose church on earth, then in heaven, he has lost his chance if he dies and hasn't changed.
I strongly STRONGLY disagreed with that thought. I'm SORRY, but that's not what our church believes. I said, "NO WAY, that is BLACK and WHITE in the gospel, and he can be sealed to me if that's what happens..." I asked, "What about Sister Hunter growing up?" My dad, "I suspect her husband was an exception." Huh. REALLY!?!?!!?
My dad just admitted to believing in a double standard. For me, one thing about the gospel, there are no double standards. Also, I believe that in heaven, we have a God of mercy and there are a lot of circumstances and struggles that people have, and only GOD understands the full picture. ONLY God can be that judge and understand why. Only God can decide that something is worthy or not.
I date Dr. M for many reasons, but just 2 Sundays ago, as I was driving home, I realized that I don't believe I could meet someone who loves me more, who cares about me, who puts me first for a lot of things, who wants to make me happy and will do whatever it takes... but also just accepts and loves me for who I am today and however I will be in the future. He accepts and loves ME. Ge recognizes my strengths and weaknesses and loves me anyway. He helps me understand who I am, more than anyone else ever has. I've truly learned a lot about myself as I date him these last 3 months. I'm okay with the NOW ME who is with him, even though I want to improve (lose weight, career wise...), he could care less, he will love me no matter what.
Also, he is true to himself. Yes, we have to have a lot of gospel discussions and decide where that takes us. But, for me, it's line upon line. Dr. M has his dad and friends, family telling him to go back to church. I haven't in so many words said that "yet". Dr. M told me this past Sunday that since he's dating me, it's made his dad a lot bolder in saying things like, 'go back to church.'
Today, one week after my discussion with my parents, my dad emailed me a long letter and Elder Bednar's talk from October Conference. It talks about 3 steps: 1. Share love, 2. share testimony, 3. be consistent.
The irony for me is this is from my dad. huh. Well, people can change and I need to soften my heart in that regard. But in regards to the talk pertaining to Dr. M and I. I would say, what applies most (what is missing) is the sharing of testimony. I've shared some things more in the past weeks, but just little tidbits here and there. I don't make a sermon out of it, but allow myself to speak freely and if it flows into the conversation,then I allow it there. Otherwise, it is a discussion that is looming. We need more time together. Crazy, when we spend every weekend together, but wow, time goes by quickly on the weekends!
--- I know I'm jumping back and forth around the timeline, but that's what i do.---
Back to last week, after the conversation, I went to my brother's house and told him about my discussion with my parents. My brother said that what I need to do now is say, "that's it". I've been open with my parents but that's it. They need to leave me to my peace and my decisions.
When I got this letter this morning, I just sent a quick note back to my dad, "thank you and Elder Bednar is one of my favorite speakers". Gospel discussions are something I've never had with my dad and I don't really want to go there right now.
ON Sunday, I did briefly tell Dr. M about my conversation with my parents. I didn't go into details but told him enough. I also told him, that how my parents live and how I live are very different. I have changed certain things that I think are church culture and not gospel doctrine in my life. I'm okay with that. BUT, my parents don't know those things because they live so far away. I told Dr. M that if I married him, everything I did that my parents didn't like, they would blame him for. I truly believe that. I see that with my brother and his wife. My parents don't agree with certain things they do, they blame the wife. In my case, especially because he's not active but a member, i believe my parents will blame Dr. M.
Sad. I don't know how to just have them concentrate on the good, to not be heart-broken and fasting for the next month because of my choices.
One thing I did ask my parents to do is not tell my sister or brother-in-law about Dr. M's "status" in the church. I don't believe it's their business. I want them to like Dr M for who he is and how he treats me.
Monday, March 8, 2010
The aftermath....
When I started dating Mr. R, I told everyone I was dating a "great guy". It turns out I was wrong. So, with Dr. M, I was more cautious and a little more quiet.
Yesterday, I changed my relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship". I didn't think it informed people when I changed my status, but apparently did.
here are the comments I've received:
Janie, Drew, Katy and 3 others like this.
Micah: details please...
Yesterday at 2:25pm ·
Kristen: hmmmmm! Be expecting a call tomorrow.
Yesterday at 5:33pm ·
Erin W.: um, you can't just post that without more details. :-)
Yesterday at 6:11pm ·
Erin S. congrats! who's the lucky guy?!
Yesterday at 7:03pm ·
Me: WOW! Who knew this would go to the world when I changed the status. I didn't think it would inform everyone about the update! I'll have to change my settings.
I've been dating Dr. M since December. He lives [a ways away] so we're putting lots of miles on our cars :).
Yesterday at 9:15pm ·
Drew: Suzanne is happy for you and mad that you never tell her anything!
3 hours ago ·
Micah: I think this person needs to be properly vetted. Please send name, DOB, SSN, hair sample, a used tooth brush, photo ID, all major credit card numbers, a history of residence for the last 10 years, all emails, screen names, and aliases ever used, and anything else you think I might need. I hope you understand! Thanks.
about an hour ago ·
Becky F. wow - we all need a friend like Micah - to make sure the men in our lives aren't scary. :) (Although I don't think you have anything to worry about with Dr. M.)
about an hour ago ·
Me: Too funny! Micah, I'll work on getting you details. Hair samples might be a little hard, he's mostly bald. :)
about an hour ago ·
Geoffrey: I agree.... but all I need are his debit cards and pin numbers.
42 minutes ago via Email Reply ·
me: Dr. M works for a non-profit and said he's more than willing to let you take over his credit cards :)
6 minutes ago ·
I'm sure the comments will keep coming. Too fun!
Yesterday, I changed my relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship". I didn't think it informed people when I changed my status, but apparently did.
here are the comments I've received:
Janie, Drew, Katy and 3 others like this.
Micah: details please...
Yesterday at 2:25pm ·
Kristen: hmmmmm! Be expecting a call tomorrow.
Yesterday at 5:33pm ·
Erin W.: um, you can't just post that without more details. :-)
Yesterday at 6:11pm ·
Erin S. congrats! who's the lucky guy?!
Yesterday at 7:03pm ·
Me: WOW! Who knew this would go to the world when I changed the status. I didn't think it would inform everyone about the update! I'll have to change my settings.
I've been dating Dr. M since December. He lives [a ways away] so we're putting lots of miles on our cars :).
Yesterday at 9:15pm ·
Drew: Suzanne is happy for you and mad that you never tell her anything!
3 hours ago ·
Micah: I think this person needs to be properly vetted. Please send name, DOB, SSN, hair sample, a used tooth brush, photo ID, all major credit card numbers, a history of residence for the last 10 years, all emails, screen names, and aliases ever used, and anything else you think I might need. I hope you understand! Thanks.
about an hour ago ·
Becky F. wow - we all need a friend like Micah - to make sure the men in our lives aren't scary. :) (Although I don't think you have anything to worry about with Dr. M.)
about an hour ago ·
Me: Too funny! Micah, I'll work on getting you details. Hair samples might be a little hard, he's mostly bald. :)
about an hour ago ·
Geoffrey: I agree.... but all I need are his debit cards and pin numbers.
42 minutes ago via Email Reply ·
me: Dr. M works for a non-profit and said he's more than willing to let you take over his credit cards :)
6 minutes ago ·
I'm sure the comments will keep coming. Too fun!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Meeting your Half Orange
There is a book out called, "meeting your half orange - An utterly upbeat quide to using Dating optimism to find your perfect match" by Amy Spencer.
My friend, B, bought this book for herself, a friend in Utah and Me. We were supposed to read it and then when the friend from utah was visiting (last weekend) we were to have kind of a book club meeting and discuss.
I have to confess that I only read 60 pages and then started skimming. I still ran out of time. I don't know what's wrong with me but I've only been able to start books the last 5 months and not really read anything all the way through!?!?!
Anyway, the book is good (read the introduction). But she also talks about creating a dream board. This dream board isn't supposed to be about what your future mate will look at but MORE about the feeling you will have when you're with the person you love. So, after cutting out lots of images from different magazines on Friday night, I finally compiled my dream board today.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Birthdays and first meetings?
Dr. M's birthday is next Tuesday. I told him we'd celebrate it by having cheap Mexican and then I have a birthday cake for him (he doesn't know that part).
I just invited my brother and his wife to come to dinner too. Is that a lot of pressure? Dr. M hasn't met my brother yet. My brother's opinion is really really important to me.
The Cake:
I'm making Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream cake. When I asked Dr. M what he liked, he said chocolate cake and then he said, "but what I really like is mint chocolate chip ice cream cake"
Coincidentally, that was my favorite cake growing up. My mom figured out how to make it (she didn't want to pay Dairy Queen) and through trial and error found a great way to make the cake. Note - this was pre-internet where you couldn't just look up recipes :).
So, I've looked up lots of recipes and made up my own.
yesterday, I bought Keebler Grasshopper cookies and oreos. I crushed them together and made them as a crust that I've frozen for the bottom layer. I also froze an ice cream cake layer last night. This morning, I made another layer of ice cream on top of the crumb layer and put a crumb layer on top of it.
Do you know it takes a whole half gallon of ice cream to create a layer of cake in a 9" circle? Who knew!
Well, this is an experiment but I'm excited. I hope Dr. M likes it.
I just invited my brother and his wife to come to dinner too. Is that a lot of pressure? Dr. M hasn't met my brother yet. My brother's opinion is really really important to me.
The Cake:
I'm making Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream cake. When I asked Dr. M what he liked, he said chocolate cake and then he said, "but what I really like is mint chocolate chip ice cream cake"
Coincidentally, that was my favorite cake growing up. My mom figured out how to make it (she didn't want to pay Dairy Queen) and through trial and error found a great way to make the cake. Note - this was pre-internet where you couldn't just look up recipes :).
So, I've looked up lots of recipes and made up my own.
yesterday, I bought Keebler Grasshopper cookies and oreos. I crushed them together and made them as a crust that I've frozen for the bottom layer. I also froze an ice cream cake layer last night. This morning, I made another layer of ice cream on top of the crumb layer and put a crumb layer on top of it.
Do you know it takes a whole half gallon of ice cream to create a layer of cake in a 9" circle? Who knew!
Well, this is an experiment but I'm excited. I hope Dr. M likes it.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Little things
I think that I'll need to continue to add to this list, because there are things I randomly remember that Dr. M does and I really like them. They are also things that I've just wanted most of my life when I think of my significant other.
Little things:
* Dr. M said, "I don't really get mad..."
*he has picked me up and carried me - I've always wanted to feel small and petite with whomever I end up with.
*he said yes, when I told him I had a favor, before I even told him what it was
*he makes sure I'm safe before I drive home - insisting on 2 diet pepsi cans. I usually only take one.
*he likes me anyway... no matter what
*he misses me and is excited to see me - like he checked out the window lots of times last Wednesday, in hopes I would show up early.
*he makes me yummy food and just spoils me
*I like his friends
okay to avoid the risk of being mushy, I'll stop but he really is a great guy. I don't think I say that enough.
Even yesterday, my friend asked me, "you're not serious about him are you."? For me, I wouldn't be seeing him every week with this much effort involved (3 hours of driving) unless I was serious about him.
Little things:
* Dr. M said, "I don't really get mad..."
*he has picked me up and carried me - I've always wanted to feel small and petite with whomever I end up with.
*he said yes, when I told him I had a favor, before I even told him what it was
*he makes sure I'm safe before I drive home - insisting on 2 diet pepsi cans. I usually only take one.
*he likes me anyway... no matter what
*he misses me and is excited to see me - like he checked out the window lots of times last Wednesday, in hopes I would show up early.
*he makes me yummy food and just spoils me
*I like his friends
okay to avoid the risk of being mushy, I'll stop but he really is a great guy. I don't think I say that enough.
Even yesterday, my friend asked me, "you're not serious about him are you."? For me, I wouldn't be seeing him every week with this much effort involved (3 hours of driving) unless I was serious about him.
3000 Tattoos and stopped showering?
I told Dr. M that I was getting a Henna tattoo this past Friday. I love Henna (temporary tattoos). I get it done on my foot and it just looks cute. Anyway, he said that he doesn't like tattoos of any kind. But he always caviats things like that if it relates to me with a, 'but with you, you can do anything and I would be okay with it'. In this case, Dr. M told me that even if I got 3000 tattoos and stopped showering he would still like me. I told him that if that was the case with him, I don't think I'd still like him. Does he like me more than I like him? Ummmm, maybe. But really, if i know someone who goes to such extremes, there has to be something wrong with him, like being a Meth-head or something. So, no. I don't think I change my mind about that. Dr. M is not allowed to get 3000 tattoo or even 100 or 10. Maybe 1. :)....
He doesn't like them, so I won't worry about it.
He doesn't like them, so I won't worry about it.
Am I in love with love?
No, I don't think so. It's definitely something I want to be - in love - to love someone special for life and ever. I justify that I don't just fall in love with love - because I have dated others where if I had fallen in love with them, it would have been easier to be with them. I never did or couldn't ever fall in love with some of the guys I dated. Even those who would have told me that they love me. Jr. Mint was one of those. he would have told me for months but I never felt that way about him. And then there were others that if I had encouraged them, they would have dated me. I couldn't go there. I have this internal lying meter and I can only lie to myself for so long and then... it just doesn't work any more and I can't go there.
With Dr. M, I have moments, the last few weeks where I'll just think, "i love that about him"... Even yesterday, i was driving to meet some friends for lunch and I found myself smiling about Dr. M and something he said and just kind of laughing inside. I texted that to him. He had a good day yesterday. He said, after what I texted him, "how could he not". Yeah, I think I love him. But the scary thing is... telling him I love him will take us to a new level. It's unchartered territory. How do you act when you're in a relationship where he loves you and you love him? What does that mean? EEEK!
With Dr. M, I have moments, the last few weeks where I'll just think, "i love that about him"... Even yesterday, i was driving to meet some friends for lunch and I found myself smiling about Dr. M and something he said and just kind of laughing inside. I texted that to him. He had a good day yesterday. He said, after what I texted him, "how could he not". Yeah, I think I love him. But the scary thing is... telling him I love him will take us to a new level. It's unchartered territory. How do you act when you're in a relationship where he loves you and you love him? What does that mean? EEEK!
what is love?
Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. And as God said �Love all�
Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship.
Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship.
one of the moments...
Thursday night, I was supposed to drive home. I was still fighting my cold, so I decided that I would take a short nap and then leave after dinner around 7 or 8 at the latest. I'm not the best night driver. For Dr. M, I've been willing to look past that but it's still not the easiest thing for me.
So, i took a short nap, and then Dr. M and I were just talking when he said, "you know what?"
me, "What?"
Dr. M, "I love you."
PAUSE..... UMMMMMM
Me, "I....I...
Dr. M, "is that okay"
Me, "umm, yeah. ... I'm not ready to say it yet."
Dr. M, "it's okay" .... "you still have a lot of things you need to know..."
So, Dr. M proceeded to answer some of the questions that I had asked and wanted to know about. These are significant because they really truly have been reasons or gaps that caused me to keep the walls up and protect myself. I don't want to be hurt again. I want to know what I'm getting into with this relationship if we move forward.
They weren't stories that were easy for Dr. M to tell. He's never told them to his family or close friends.
It was pretty heavy and sad and a lot to think about. None of what he said, made me want to leave or end the relationship. It wasn't anything bad in a worldly way or anything but he's had to deal with things that have led him to believe certain ways. When I say things, his marriage and other things. It makes you wonder why things happen that way. We all go through that and have to decide what we're going to do about it.
Later, after we had talked for a while, Dr. M said he was hungry and asked what time it was. I didn't have my cell phone on me, so I said that it had to be about 8. He turned the tv to a channel that listed the time. It was 10 PM!
I'm glad we had that talk. I was wondering when that would happen.
I have a lot of hangups about when to have conversations. it's hard for me to talk about internal feelings anyway, so I was glad we were able to talk last Thursday. His birthday, my birthday, roommates around, valentines day... They are all my projected hangups of when NOT to talk. His birthday is next Tuesday.
But do you know!?!? Dr. M told me that he loved me. I've never had a boy love me when I wanted them to and had similar affection. It's a moment I've waited for all my life.
LPGA watch out!
So, Dr. M is into golf. REALLY into golf. So, Thursday, after working from my sister's in the morning. I went to lunch with my 9 year old niece. Then, I headed over to Dr. M's. We went to a golf lesson with a pro. Dr. M needed a little help on his swing (tweaks) so she spent most of the time with me. I learned a lot about my swing. I keep trying to turn my knees the wrong way, to not swing, to not move my foot and then I don't follow through with my swing. SOOOOO, I have a lot to work on! But it was fun. I've been to the driving range before, but never with serious intent to learn. I still don't see myself walking 18 holes but stranger things have happened. So, I don't say no.
Did I tell you about the conversation Dr. M and I had? He told me I didn't have to like golf. I told him he had to like cycling AND do it often. :). We'll see.
I heart you
Wednesday night I just happened to have a work thing near Dr. M's house. I had a cold and threatened not to visit Dr. M. He promised he wouldn't get sick. I made him take Airborne and Zicam when I got to his house. I think he didn't get sick. We watched the olympics and then I drove back to my sister's for the night.
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