I emailed with my brother today and he offered (seriously) to help me create a "Project Plan" for my dating life - i need to "cast my net farther" - yeah well.... we'll see.
So, he's going to meet with me on Sunday and we'll create the plan.
My brother is a Project manager in the technology industry... this should be interesting. But this is my new attitude...
Sure, why not? - really, seriously, what do I have to lose....
and then, maybe we can market the plan and make millions (I told my bro that I get a cut).
“Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it.”
Bill Bradley (b. 1943); American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar,former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
I've lost count about how many times I've been a bridesmaid. In June, I've been asked to be a bridesmaid for a good friend of mine (K). I really love her and am glad that she's found peace in the decision to marry a man (B) she's been dating for 2 years. He's not a member. But really, I don't think that can be the deciding factor any more. He treats her amazingly well, he has common interests and isn't intimidated by her intellectualism, he is active and makes her a better person. The reality is, there is a strong chance he will someday join the church.
I'm excited for her! Yeah for K! now we just have to work out the details... dancing or not? 200 people or more?
So, I have now been on 4 dates with a guy (I mentioned the first two as lunches). As of last night, after a very long 2 hour+ conversation, I decided and told him (J) that I cannot date him. I like him - and probably really just like having someone who likes me so much...but...
the more I learned about his story and background last night, I decided that I deserve better. To be honest, without going into details... he's not living LDS standards right now. And while that bothers me, it was more him telling me what type of missionary he was, and how he really lacks (is this a bad word) the cajunas to really change or do anything with his life. He's doing it, but it's definitely taking him time (and he's 35). I heard about how he acted before his mission, that he really could care less if he went. That he wasn't the greatest missionary, that he always found himself with companions that liked to get in trouble; that he didn't like that he didn't really have any good friends and was hurt by it on his mission; - and really I just want to know why HE couldn't have had the foresight to make a decision instead of going with the flow.
To be fair, he has changed. He has removed himself from an environment and people that don't have good influence and he's working to get back on track. I'm just not willing to stick around and see if the J on track is a guy I want to be with for forever. I don't think so.
This morning, I had this thought. That I just want someone I can give a hug in front of people and really let everyone know that I truly truly think he's fabulous and great. I can't say this about J and this has been the case with a lot of the people I've dated... I haven't wanted to introduce them to everyone and just say "i could care less what you think - because I love him" and that's where I think I just haven't found a keeper yet. They are a rare species.
The news just stated that there are Booers that yelled when Chaney was wheeled in and when Bush came out on the stand for the inauguration. Interesting when the conservatives of our nation - who may be sad that McCain lost, didn't boo in return when Barack and Biden came on the stand. I think there needs to be civility and respect. I really hate that there has been such a lack of respect for someone in the highest office of our nation.
Do you know that "W"'s were removed from the keyboards in the white house by Bill Clinton's staff when Bush was elected? NONE of that has happened with the transition for Barack. I respect the Bush's more because they have left with dignity, respect for the new-comers of the White House.
And while I say this, I have to state that this statement comes from someone who didn't vote for McCain and while I may be LDS, I am not a registered Republican.
I really am saddened by the lack of respect in our nation and I hope, hope, hope, that this will change (Change is the key word) with a president that the nation has come together so much in welcoming a historical new president.
Just a side note, as I watch the Bush's and Obama's walk to the helicopter - you can see the Bush's have a weight off their shoulders and they are "Free".... and you can see a heavy weight on the Obama's and can only wish them the best. I am so grateful that I am not in the White House and in the public eye. What an amazing weight they are taking on.
do you ever find yourself one of many? I feel like a guppy, swimming upstream and the men are salmon wanting to eat us... yet there are so many guppies to choose from, and yet we're so small, what's the point of swimming away? (I know my analogy is a little off)
-... i had a 2nd lunch date with this guy today. He was 30 minutes late. (I was 5). The first date lasted 2 hours and all we did was have a milkshake. I liked it. It felt great to have a guy interested and wanting to know more about you. And also to be interested in getting to know more about the guy! Today, we had lunch. In total, we probably hung out for about 2 hours today. I think my uncomfortable-ness was partly from just sitting in a restaurant in the middle of the day and feeling like we should go or do something - while talking (food was gone and paid for). Also, I basically learned that (I think) he's taking at least 2 other girls out this week (in the 2 evenings he has off - since he works nights). And while, you should date many and often... i guess I just don't want to be one of many. I don't want to do my time and do the first few dates and find out if we're interested - I just want to date someone - BOOM! Crash! we're dating and wala! Deep down, i feel like I've already "done my time" - the problem is, I did my time with boys who didn't stick around and the fact of life is - I HAVE TO START OVER - in order to go anywhere. And the other fact is....
The woman who's baby died, posted a video of his life with the song by the Dixie Chicks "God Speed". I love this song and have seen the Dixie Chicks perform it live. This song gives me chills.
I also saw on her blog a post about "magic blankets" and thought it would be a great gift for mother's who have lost their children. I'm going to look for a Magic blanket this weekend and send it to my friend who just lost her 18 month old.
The card read:
“I know you’re probably wondering why we have given you a blanket. Well, I’ve heard that this particular blanket is quite magic. It has been said to calm wound-up kids, relieve fevers or chills, and most of all it is a great comforter. I hear it can even help mend broken hearts. So next time you need to be held or to hold something…cuddle up with this blanket and remember how much you are loved and thought of by your family here on Earth, by your Jack, and by your Heavenly Father. I know you might not be convinced that a blanket can do all this, but I’ve heard from multiple sources that it absolutely can! It’s magic!”
I can't take credit but I can spread the love. I don't know what else to do. If people have suggestions of what can be done for mother's who have lost their little ones, I would love to know what she needs most (particularly from friend who is 3000 miles away).
A poem written by the infant's mom: ur Brightest Star
Life on Earth is filled with happiness; Life on Earth is filled with love. It’s filled with fun and joy and beauty - And wondrous gifts from above.
But life here is also filled with sorrow; Not void of grief and pain. It’s filled with hate, it’s filled with hurt; It’s under Satan’s reign.
There are some of Father’s children, - of this much I am sure – Who have no right to suffer here - Because they are too pure.
My little son, my precious one - You are one of those Who needn’t struggle through this test; You’ve passed it – Father knows.
So wait for us at Heaven’s gate; Wait at Heaven’s door. We promise we will meet you there; We promise to endure.
And when we need you, and miss you so; When we wonder how you are, We’ll raise our eyes, and look above - You’ll be the brightest star.
So, I've recently become fascinated by Biggest Loser. I always refused to watch it - mostly because I really do not need to watch more tv than I already do. But, I really like Jillian Michael's (one of the trainers) exercise video. So, I started watching this season. They have the heaviest persona and oldest person on this season. Last night, the oldest was kicked off. It was sad and NO ONE wanted to vote either one of those two off. I am crossing my fingers that he comes back this season - actually, they showed him talking at the end (where he is now) and he looks good. He looks healthy - and that's really what the show is about. I'm impressed. So, there are 2 good looking (although heavy) cousins and they are from Arizona. They both have young families and they are young (late-20s) professionals. Well, I think they are LDS. There are also two Tongans on the show and I think they could be LDS. yesterday, they showed a picture of one of the Tongan's wives in front of a picture of a temple... yeah, I think that is a dead giveaway. Fun times.
I titled this blog entry American Idol and Biggest loser, because American Idol started yesterday too. A friend of mine took a picture of last year's runner up on the Salt Lake Capitol steps with President Monson. I think it's a pretty cool picture - so I'm posting a copy here.
I was talking with my friend the other day... she told me that she ran into Elder Ballard at the airport. He said that within the church, there are more boy (male) babies being born than ever.... I've found that all my friends are pregnant/or just had boys. My sister and brother both had boys as their last children.... hmmmm...
So don't you think it's unfair that I'm in the generation that doesn't have enough males?!?!?! :)
P.s. I'm well aware that this could become Mormon Folk-lore so just know that I may be misquoting a member of the Quorum of the 12.
So, in the past 5 days, I've learned about a friend's nephew who died in the NICU; learned that an ex-boyfriend/friend of her's killed her fiance and probably killed a guy, she was dating at the time, 2 years prior (who the authorities thought had killed himself). How is this possible to happen to just one person!?!?
Then, today, i logged onto facebook and saw that a friend (an Old roommate) of mine's 5th child (just about 1 year old) died. I don't know the details. I don't know what happened but it's just sad.
I've got all of this weighing on my mind and I can't stop thinking about these events in the lives of people I know! I've decided it's really because I just feel helpless and don't know how I can help them. I feel like words are just inadequate.
Maybe I should send the blog of the woman who just lost her baby to my old roommate? Do you think that might be why I found that site? I don't know. I just don't know... The loss of a child, is the loss of an angel!
Wow,Today I found a friend's blog address on her facebook page and decided to read what she was up to. Well, on her blog she listed the blog address of her brother/sister-in-law because her nephew of a little over 1 month died in the hospital. I, always having a place in my heart for babies, wanted to know more. So, i read the blog of her family (Elizabeth and Adam). Now, this may sound intrusive, but on the blog of Elizabeth, she talks about this site being public.
There are so many lines of faith from Elizabeth and i know her heart is breaking but what an amazing boy (Baby Jack) was for them!
"Jack taught us so much and we love him! Jack may not have needed to experience this life, but we needed to experience Jack."
MORE from their blog:
Title of Blog entry: Our Brightest Star "When we found out we were expecting a boy, I decided to go with a space theme for his room. This morning Adam told me that the stars that shine the brightest also have the shortest life. How fitting for our little boy who was such a bright shining star!"
Anyway, as I read the blog and the stories of all they went through. I was amazed and humbled by their heartache and love. They are only 25 and have gone through so much!
"Come what may and Love it" is one talk they quoted.
More:
While I certainly believe we are receiving help from Heavenly angels, I am also constantly reminded of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk from General Conference October 2008:
“When we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. Some of them gave birth to us, and in my case, one of them consented to marry me. Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind.”
Anyway, I hope that we can learn that even the smallest life has impact and how many lives he did touch, without leaving a hospital (well he did change to 3 different hospitals). Amazing and precious.
His headstone reads as follows:
Our Son Forever Jack Alexander 18 November 2008 - 29 December 2008 Too Lovely, Too Pure
How grateful I am for the eternal perspective of knowing that really, Jack has gone to a better place. And while they may never know exactly what was wrong with him, maybe he just needed to come to earth for a body and to impact the people he did. What an amazing amazing story!
The wind through the cyprus made them sway, And rolled the clouds back that winter day, The sun shone through long enough to say, "Your baby was here, but cannot stay."
For there are more important things to do, And he must add a gleam to heaven’s hue To help brighten the pathway for one and all, For through the darkness, great men fall!
This little spirit, so pleasant and fair, Returned to the ones who were waiting there. And when I walk out in the night divine, I know one of the stars that shine is mine!
He came to the earth just for a while, Not long enough to see him smile. For this little baby we loved so much Was just to precious for a mother’s touch.
Text by Ellen Henry Gardner (adapted) Music by Rob Gardner
