a little love can be increased?

DO you agree with this statement from Pratt, The Seer, p. 154?

There is no evil in love; but there is much evil resulting from the want of love. No woman should be united in marriage with a man unless she have some love for him; and if she love him in a small degree, this is capable of being increased to perfection.

And this pertains to women - but does the same statement apply if it's about men?

When Brigham You said "DAMN"

Man are disposed through their own wickedness "to do as I damned please," and they are damned. The volition of the creature is free, to do good or to do evil; but we are responsible to God for our acts, as man is responsible to man if he breaks the laws which man enacts. When we boast of our independence to act, it wouldbe well for us to remember that we are bounded by these limits; if we transcend them and violate the laws of God and man, we shall sooner or later be made to suffer the penalty, without any reference to our choice whether we are willing to suffer that penalty or not. Hence, true independence and freedom can only exist in doing right. (JD 11:254) BRIGHAM YOUNG

Definition of a WORLDY MARRIAGE (p. 66)

Telestial Marriage: "They need a mate to do something for them: "feed me, house me, clothe me, satisfy me, make me happy."

Terrestrial Marriage (p. 68): ... Terrestrial people are honorable people; they establish honorable marriages - good marriages. The love they express for one another, although imperfect, is genuine. Loalty and fidelity ton one's mate is the rule. Indeed, the deep and lasting devotion of Robert and Elizabeth Browning for one another typifies this aspect of terrestrial marriage. Ordinarily, children figure prominently in these marriages. They are welcomed and cherished.

Modern Marriage: In emphasizing the virtual equality of the sexes, the so-called modern marriage is something of a reaction against the Victorian marriages of the 19th century. Today, marriage is emphasized as a "partnership" in which the husband and wife each hold 50% of the voting stock. Both are president of the company. Being a two-headed affair, the modern marriage is, in actuality, headless. Because both preside, neither leads. It is pure democracy. Such marriages are based upon false sociological theories as well as a fatal misunderstanding of ht eimplications of hte psycho-physical differences between the sexes. These differences should dictate the valid roles of husbands and wives. In largely ignoring these differences, the modern marriage is essentially a contractual agreement between consenting adults in which they specify the limitations of their obligations to one another both qualitatively and quantitatively. It is understood that each is free to pursue his or her own destiny even though they share certain phases of their lives with one another.

A Marriage in the Lord (pg. 73): "Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it." (Psalm 127:1). God must be a party to our human associations if they are to take on the character of everlasting things (TJS P. 220) Apart from him, all is indeed vanity and vexation of spirit. Truly, they labor in vain who labor without the lord. See Ecclesiastes 1:14.

Unless the Lord is a direct party to the marriage covenant, it is doomed. The seeds of its own death are brough to the union by its mortal participants.

Only "in the Lord" can it be said that man is not without the woman nor the woman without the man. And we might add, onlin "in the Lord" can it be said that the parent is not without the child nor the child without the parent.

Old LDS views on "intercourse of the sexes"

The Latter-day Saints regard the intercourse of the sexes both in time and in eternity, as regulated by sacred law iven by our Father in heaven who has organized us male and female for a wise purpose in himself, adn that purpose is made manifest in the first great command given to our first parents, namely, to multiply and replenish the earth. And the saying to the woman after her transgression as written in the book of Genesis, that her desires should be towards her husband and he should rule over her - the desires planted in the breast of the woman tending to draw to the opposite sex culminating in a union, is a wise dispensation of Providence for the accomplishing of the great end in view to encourage and stimulate them to multiply and replenish the earth, and take upon themselves the care, labors, anxieties and responsibilillites attending the rearing of families. (Erastus Snow, JD 23:225, 226)

Brigham Young quote on women

I do not know what the Lord could have put upon women worse than he did upon Mother Eve, where he told her: "Thy desire shall be to thy husband." Continually wanting the husband. . . . I do not know that the Lord could have put upon women anything worse than this, I do not blame them for having these feelings. I would be glad if it were otherwise. Says a woman of faith and knowledge, "I will make the best of it; it is a law that man shall rule over me; his word is my law, and I must obey him; he must rule over me; this is upon me and I will submit to it," and by so doing she has promises that others do not have. (JD 16:167).

...

Alas! the love of women! it is knownto be a lovely, and fearful thing; for all of theirs upon that die is thrown: and if 'tis lost, life has no more to bring to them but mockeries of the past alone. (The New Dictionary of Thoughts, page 369).

Women are fugitives and vagabonds in a "city of men"

The City of Men (in a Book called Women and the priesthood, page 23)

"The very attributes which characterize woman of high spiritual endowment suggest that, for now, her essential mileu is the home rather than the world at large. Those who are continually subjected to the ravages of wind, rain, heat and cold are invariably weathered by them. Likewise, no woman can fully identify with the work-a-day world of men and escape unmarked. Men, with their generally less refined natures, do not; how can women hope to do so?

Is this what work is like?:

the dull routine, urban life is soul-desensitizeing; unremitting pressures, ceaseless competitiveness; constant jostling with alien personalities; daily necesity of reestablishing one's worth... all elements that "batter away at the basic personalities of many men and women today."

MORE:

"When women willingly join men in their "city," when they willingly forsake the home, they, too, become fugitives and vagabonds in the earth - fugitives from their own natures, vagabonds in a masculine world. For it is in willingly becoming 'city dwellers" that they compromise those qualities and attitudes which are the hallmark of the true woman. They do this, not by their physical presence in the city, but by their emotional commitment to it. The Savior declared: "where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." (Matt. 6:21).

HA HA HA - this is too much fun to read!

"page. 25: "If women, by imitating the masculine way of life, assume male nuances, it is not unlikely that men, in duplicating the thought patterns and activities of women, will assume female attitudes and characteristics. This is precisely what is happening among some segments of society today. The two sexes are breaking away from their natural moorings and drifting toward each other." Keep in mind this book was published in 1972.

"women are not being so much liberated as they are being absorbed into a neuter gender world of common humanity. Many are simply exchanging one form of bondage (referring to womens lib) for another. When the novelty of their new surroundings has worn off, they will long for the good old days, forgetting that they, too, left much to be desired.

Uh-oh - I'm a sinner....

Having observed several women leave a saloon, President Brigham Young asked:

"What do you think of that, sisters? It is a disgrace to the name of lady. Is it any more a disgrace in woman than in man? Yes, because he is by nature coarser and more prone to such wickednes than she is. Woman is altogether of a finer nature, and has stronger moral inclinations; it is not natural for her to indulge in wickedness that man takes common delight in." (JD 18:233.)

Having gone to many bars, pubs and restaurants where alcohol is served (and never indulging) - I find this quote quite humorous.

It's still good

Sometimes, the more cynical side of me comes out and I become a questioner and a doubter... I planned to fly to visit Mr. R 3 weeks ago but still the trip seemed far away. It's funny how, if you have too much time, you start to think of the what-ifs and not always the positive but start worrying about things like, "What if camping was a fluke?" "Since camping was neutral territory, what does that make staying at his house? Will I feel comfortable there?"

Well, I arrived last night and we've talked so much on the phone, it was just good to see him and be in person with him. I called Mr. R, as I was leaving the secure area - and there he was, and he smiled and I just knew... I wasn't imagining things.

We went to dinner at a Puerto Rican Restaurant... YUM! The food had so much flavor and was just really good. By the end, (and I ordered the small plate), I was just eating the food because it was good - but definitely didn't have room in my stomach for more. Mr. R helped me finish a few bites.

Then, we arrived at his little 2 bedroom house. It's technically a condo, I guess. His house faces the street and only shares the back wall with other condos. It's nice. It's funny, because he has tons of pictures on the walls, a lot of Portland and then just family. Side note: he was a cute missionary too.

I know, this is probably pretty nauseating to anyone reading this. It's so cheesy and I'm so twitterpated.
oh well...

A lot of his furniture comes from his grandparent's home; included is a bird cage with a fake finch in it. I asked him about it and he said, 'if you don't like it, i can get rid of it.' HMMMM.....

Since it was a work-night, we watched Batman: The Dark Knight. I had never seen it and Mr. R hadn't seen it since he saw it was in the theatre. It was amazing! The movie doesn't stop moving. Heath Ledger (sadly died before the movie came out) was definitely brilliant as the Joker. I think he deserves awards for sure, even post-humously. It honors him and is something his daughter can hopefully hold on to.

Okay, I'm supposed to be working at home - while Mr. R is at work. Gotta get moving.

if we ever get married...

"If we ever get married, would you..." This is a semi-frequent question in my relationship with Mr. R...

Kinda fun, kinda makes the insides flip and go haywire... kinda crazy. I love it.

Trust

I saw this quote from "Foundation for a Better Life":

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough.”

—Frank H. Crane (1873-1948); stage and film actor, director

Recent emails and quick conversations with Mr. R, have lead me to take away the caution tape again. I still need to talk with Mr. R about this last week, I really just want to have the conversation in person... is that cowardly or delaying something? I don't know. I really felt like he needed to be on his own time table and I needed to let him come to whatever conclusions he was going to - but that I should let him be until he let me know about the lunch date he had yesterday. I don't know details, all I know is that he has told me a few times since then that he only wants to be with me.

He even asked me out for next July 4th... so we have a date scheduled for 12 months from today. That beats his record of asking me three months in advance for Labor Day.

It may be premature, and maybe long-late-Saturday nights make me let go of my heart and tell him this, but I sent Mr. R a link to a song from Youtube:

Dashboard Confessional - Stolen. The lyrics are below: (I will bold the lines that I think apply to Mr. R and I)

"Stolen"

We watch the season pull up its own stakes

And catch the last weekend of the last week

Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,

Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart

Invitation only,

grand farewells

Crash the best one, of the best ones

Clear liquor and cloudy eyed,

too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration

One good stretch before our hibernation

Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

You have stolen

You have stolen my heart

I watch you spin around in your highest heels

You are the best one, of the best ones

We all look like we feel

You have stolen my

You have stolen my heart

I called this posting "trust" because I really think this relationship comes down to trust. A long time ago, i learned the following quote: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't come back, it never was yours to begin with. I "stepped-back" this week to make sure Mr. R wouldn't feel like he's running into a relationship with me too quickly and for any of the wrong answers. I think he came to some conclusions this weekend. I don't know them all but I'm feeling secure in the status of our relationship being a real relationship; moving forward....