Merry Christmas

"If I could only have you near... I would be happy just to hold the hands I love... on this Winter night with you."

This song was originally written by Gordon Lightfoot. I've decided I like his folksie sound - but Sarah's version of this song is great too!

Merry Christmas. I hope this Christmas season is a season of love with family and faith and peace.
Love,
Me
2008

I think I loved him...

So, I've been hearing a lot of definitions about love lately and maybe I'm just in a pensive mood because of the holidays and well, i guess because I don't have a present man-of-my-life to focus on, I end up reflecting on the loves who have come and gone. I've also had a couple friends talk about how they're not in love with the one they were dating and another who is upset with moving on to the family ward from a singles ward - and how there should be a better transition instead of a 'you've turned 31 ---drop you and you're gone" policy...

So I've been thinking about this boy, N. I really truly was in-like with the boy for a very long time. We even had a "talk" where he told me he couldn't date me. The night that happened, my roommate and I went to toilet paper his house (in return for his breaking my heart) but we saw him sitting on the porch - looking lost. A year later, he had moved to another state and I visited him while I was on a work trip. Somehow, one thing led to another and we kissed. I was suppose to be over him! For someone in her mid-twenties, I guess a kiss shouldn't be a big deal yet, I had never kissed a boy before.

Many events followed in the months to follow and we ended up driftin' apart - I think mostly because I refused to put any effort into a relationship I was scared would just end up breaking my heart again. Instead, I always say that I didn't love him any more. And really maybe I didn't. But I still wish that things could have happened differently - that our timing could have been on the same track instead of missing each other. I wish and yet - it really is okay that it wasn't that way.

Deep down, I know we don't make sense and I'm really happy that he is married to someone else. But still, I think I loved him and I really hope that someday someone will come and I can say that I love HIM and forget all the loves I've left behind.
And really, i have to say that I live with the motto "no regrets" and deep down, there is no regret - just a wish for things to have been different.

I'm trying to think of a way to twist this so it shows I'm really ending on a positive note - and the only thing I can think of is... "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks...

"Winner" of the week

So when asked in his profile for additional information - this guy "Wi" states the following:

Currently, my parents really want me to seriously start looking for a long-term life partner.

Wow! Sounds like a great guy!

i fought the wall and the wall won

So this morning, I was driving to my brother's house. Somehow, i decided to be really anal about the dog hair on my black t-shirt. I few moments after glancing down to take the hair off - I ran into something. It turns out it was the curb - but worse! In a 3 block radius, the only thing on the curb - is what I hit - I hit a brick post office box. YEP!! Doesn't sounds too scary since it is just a PO Box - but umm... took out the right side of my car and I am still waiting on the estimate.

It's been a fun few weeks. The more I think about this accident, the more I wonder... I really think that I was driving in a dream state. I haven't really slept in 2 weeks (well a year but worse in the last 2 weeks). I've been really sick and was finally going to go to the doctor today and an acupunturist. I've never tried acupuncture - but it can't hurt right?

Anyway, I hit the box and turned the corner to park and go make my peace with the owner... All I could think was "is this a bad dream?" I really felt like I was going to wake up anytime - and soon- .

So, I've decided I really was just a little out of it - especially to be that anal about a dog hair.

Well, let's hope that the car isn't totaled :).

Foundation of Stone....

I read something in October that disturbed me and made me question what I really really believe. The "fact" that I read disturbed me so much that I really did think that if that fact was fact - that it meant the church wasn't true. I couldn't reconcile this thought. Every time that thought came to me, I would think of instances and experiences that I could not doubt. There are many gospel doctrines that I completely believe in and even some that I feel like I could say I know.

I came across the "fact" when i was researching some church articles. At first, I didn't realize I was on an anti-mormon (former mormon's) site. It was a blog article and I have to admit I was intrigued by the man's story. The man tells about how he had doubts but always shoved them to the back. This man was on high councils, in bishoprics and other leadership positions, and yet he didn't technically believe. This fact bothered me because it just sounds hypocritical to me. This man struggled with some "facts" about the church and finally decided to leave. When he listed the "facts", there was one that disturbed me above all others and I couldn't shove it out of my mind.

While I questioned - "what does this mean for what I believe?" In the long run, and retro-spectively, I'm actually really glad that this happened. This event has made me ask if I really believe in the gospel. I have to say that in recent years, I've already made the distinction that there is a difference between the church and the gospel. To me, the church can be more cultural than gospel based. So I make a point of saying I believe in the gospel. But, come October, I questioned whether I really would believe in that any more. The reason for this is - the "fact" was so foundational that it meant that if x=true then g=not true. I couldn't handle that. The more i thought about all the things I did believe - I couldn't question or doubt those things.

At the same time, while i had read this "fact" on a blog. I was scared to research this fact - because I wasn't sure where I would find the answers. I wanted to find the answers through LDS sources, to minimize the emphasis and bias from anti-lds sites and writers. I really was scared to research this fact because then I would know whether it was true or not. And if it was true - then I would need to figure out how much of the gospel I believed in and make a decision of what I was going to do about it. I've already said this - but it scared me. I was sick inside for days.

I finally tried searching lds.org last week. I couldn't find anything based on the key words I was looking for. Today, I did a search online (google). I knew I was taking a chance with this.

I have found my answer. I'm still reading through the REAL facts - but know that the "fact" I originally read in October has definitely come from a skewed source. I know that there are LDS Scholars and experts who have answered and reviewed this "fact" and determined why people are saying what they say.

The best thing that came out of this experience is that I was able to affirm what I do believe. I also am grateful for the doubt. The doubt made me question. The doubt made me wonder and think. I don't know that I've been questioning as much as I should have been. I think I was coasting along the last few years, based on what I've learned and read - but not really gaining any more depth to my testimony.

I have a testimony - I KNOW that there is a God and his Son, Jesus Christ, died for us. I KNOW that we have the gift of the Holy Ghost and that there is a Spirit that helps lead and guide people. As a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I know that I can have the Holy Ghost with me at all times, provided I live correctly.

I believe and know many foundational principles of the Gospel. I'm grateful for this foundation and knowledge that was able to lead me through the doubt.

It's okay to doubt, it's okay to question. It's what Moroni 10:3-5 tells us to do. Figure it out, pray about it, ask for ourselves. Only then will we know whether the principles taught through the book of Mormon and church leaders are true.

Prop 8 comments

A letter from a seminary teacher in California. (also see the article/note from Orson Scott Card: http://www.mormontimes.com/mormon_voices/orson_scott_card/?id=5002)

Almost all of his students in high school, received some kind of bullying, as a direct cause of their beliefs on Prop 8.

Here is the text of a letter he sent:

In the aftermath of the recent election, we may find ourselves oddly on the defensive regarding our support for the Yes on Proposition 8 cause. Our young people have been especially subject to mean-spirited comments by high school friends and teachers. We have nothing to be ashamed of. We did nothing wrong. In fact, we did everything that a civic-minded American can and should do. I have put together a few facts that help me to appreciate our position better. For example:

1. Mormons make up less than 2 percent of the population of California. There are approximately 800,000 LDS out of a total population of approximately 34 million.Mormon voters were less than 5 percent of the yes vote.

2. If one estimates that 250,000 LDS are registered voters (the rest being children), then LDS voters made up 4.6 percent of the yes vote and 2.4 percent of the total Proposition 8 vote.

3. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) donated no money to the Yes on 8 campaign. Individual members of the church were encouraged to support the Yes on 8 efforts and, exercising their constitutional right to free speech, donated whatever they felt like donating.

4. The No on 8 campaign raised more money than the Yes on 8 campaign. Unofficial estimates put No on 8 at $38 million and Yes on 8 at $32 million, making it the most expensive non-presidential election in the country.

5. Advertising messages for the Yes on 8 campaign are based on case law and real-life situations. The No on 8 supporters have insisted that the Yes on 8 messaging is based on lies. Every Yes on 8 claim is supported.

6. The majority of our friends and neighbors voted Yes on 8. Los Angeles County voted in favor of Yes on 8. Ventura County voted in favor of Yes on 8.

7. African-Americans overwhelmingly supported Yes on 8. Exit polls show that 70 percent of black voters chose Yes on 8. This was interesting because the majority of these voters voted for President-elect Obama. No on 8 supporters had assumed that Obama voters would vote No on 8.

8. The majority of Latino voters voted Yes on 8. Exit polls show that the majority of Latinos supported Yes on 8 and cited religious beliefs (assumed to be primarily Catholic).

9. The Yes on 8 coalition was a broad spectrum of religious organizations. Catholics, evangelicals, Protestants, Orthodox Jews, Muslims -- all supported Yes on 8. It is estimated that there are 10 million Catholics and 10 million Protestants in California. Mormons were a tiny fraction of the population represented by Yes on 8 coalition members.

10. Not all Mormons voted in favor of Proposition 8. Our faith accords that each person be allowed to choose for him or herself. Church leaders have asked members to treat other members with "civility, respect and love," despite their differing views.

11. The church did not violate the principal of separation of church and state. This principle is derived from the First Amendment to the United States' Constitution, which reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof?" The phrase "separation of church and state", which does not appear in the Constitution itself, is generally traced to an 1802 letter by Thomas Jefferson, although it has since been quoted in several opinions handed down by the United States Supreme Court in recent years. The LDS Church is under no obligation to refrain from participating in the political process to the extent permitted by law. U.S. election law is very clear that churches may not endorse candidates, but may support issues. The church as always been very careful on this matter and occasionally (not often) chooses to support causes that it feels to be of a moral nature.

12. Supporters of Proposition 8 did exactly what the Constitution provides for all citizens: they exercised their First Amendment rights to speak out on an issue that concerned them, make contributions to a cause that they support and then vote in the regular electoral process. For the most part, this seems to have been done in an open, fair and civil way. Opponents of 8 have accused supporters of being bigots, liars and worse. The fact is, we simply did what Americans do -- we spoke up, we campaigned and we voted.

Hold your heads up high -- you did a great job on this most important cause. We will have more opportunities in the future to participate in our democratic process. Let's remember the lessons learned and do an even better job next time.

These are my personal opinions and thoughts; any errors are mine and in no way reflect official church policy or doctrine.

Thanks,
Kevin Hamilton

Good Quote - don't know where it's from

I saw this today but don't know the source....
"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."

and from a guy's blog page: I like it and really do love the fall! It's just nice to see a guy likes it too....

So, if you like walking where the only sound is the sharp crackling of the dry leaves fallen around your feet, if you like cold mornings and warm afternoons, if you like outdoor movies where you need a blanket and a friend to snuggle with, if you like the changing leaves, and the sound the wind makes through them just before they fall, if you like ghost stories around a fire pit, if you like the feeling of needing someone in your sleeping bag because it’s cold, if you like to watch the sun rise late over the mountains that surround you, and then see it set behind shimmering trees on the horizon… It’s like being alone with the person you love – the solitude and solace – I want to meet the person who, like autumn, is all about experiencing the beauty that surrounds us…

"Winner" of the week

This from an online dating site:
The things "Mr. X" can't live without are:

* the right woman
* my cats
* my dreams
* a bathtub
* did i say "the right woman"?...oh i did..

The last book "Mr. X" read and enjoyed:

* An Archie comic book. Really. I dig Veronica....ok, ok...before that...a play...

One thing that only "mr. X's" best friends know is:

* Um. But there's a reason only my best friends know...ok, ok, they know that I don't always think with my...brain.

Some additional information "mr. x" wanted you to know is:

* I love you. (beat. chirp chirp <---crickets) i mean, i look forward to meeting you. ahem.

Reflections of Christ

This is a neat video of pictures done by Mark Mabry. I think I want to head out and get the book with All the pictures. There are a couple I really like: the virgins, Mary and her baby with Joseph.

if only every guy were this romantic :)

The Last Lecture: What would you say if you knew you were going to die sooner than later?

*** Update: Randy Pausch passed away 7/25/2008 - You
touched millions of lives in such a short time. Our thoughts and
prayers to you and your family …

Randy Pausch - Last Lecture
from Oprah’s Show 10 minutes 10 seconds



(the full-version 76:26 is included at the end of this post)

Watch Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture on Oprah

At many colleges, professors are asked to give a “last lecture.” In this talk, they ruminate on what matters most to them. As they speak, audiences mull the same question: What wisdom would you impart to the world if you knew it was your last chance?

Last year, I agreed to give a last lecture at Carnegie Mellon University, where I’m a professor in the computer science department. A few weeks later, I learned that I had only months to live—I was dying of pancreatic cancer.

I knew I could cancel. I have three young children, I’m married to Jai, the woman of my dreams, and there were so many things to be done. But by speaking, I knew I could put myself in a bottle that would one day wash up on the beach for my children, Dylan, Logan and Chloe. Here’s what I want to share.

Always Have Fun

Before I spoke, Carnegie Mellon’s president, Jared Cohon, said to me, “Please tell them about having fun, because that’s what I’ll remember you for.”

I came to an early realization. Each of us must make a decision, best captured in A.A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh characters. Am I a fun-loving Tigger or a sad-sack Eeyore? It’s clear where I stand.

For my last Halloween, Jai, our kids and I dressed up as the Incredibles. I put a photo of us on my website and explained that chemo had not affected my superpowers. I got smiling e-mails in response.

I won’t let go of the Tigger in me. Someone asked what I want on my tombstone. I said: “Randy Pausch: He Lived 30 Years After a Terminal Diagnosis.” I could pack a lot of fun into 30 years. If that’s not to be, I’ll pack fun into the time I have.

Dream Big

I was 8 in the summer of 1969, when men first walked on the moon. I was at camp, and we campers were brought to the main house to watch the moment on TV. But the astronauts were taking a while, and it was late. The counselors sent us to our tents to sleep, and we missed the first walk.

I was peeved. I thought: “My species has gotten off our planet and is in a new world for the first time, and you people think bedtime matters?”

When I got home, my dad gave me a photo that he’d taken of our TV set the second Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. We still have that photo.

Give yourself permission to dream. Fuel your kids’ dreams too. Once in a while, that might even mean letting them stay up past their bedtimes.

Ask for What You Want

On a trip to Disney World, my dad and I were at the monorail with my son Dylan, then 4. Dylan wanted to sit in the nose-cone with the driver, and my father thought it would be a kick too.

“Too bad they don’t let regular people sit there,” Dad said.

“Actually, I’ve learned there’s a trick to getting to sit up front,” I said. “Do you want to see it?”

I walked over to the attendant and said: “Excuse me. Could we please sit in the front car?”

“Certainly,” the attendant said. He led us to the nose-cone. It was one of the only times I ever saw my dad flabbergasted. “I said there was a trick,” I told him. “I didn’t say it was a hard trick.”

Now I’ve gotten even better at “just asking.” As we all know, it can take days to get medical results. Waiting is not how I want to spend my time, so I ask: “What’s the fastest I can get these results?”

“Oh,” they often respond, “we might be able to have them for you within an hour.”

Ask. More often than you’d suspect, the answer you’ll get is, “Sure.”

Dare To Take a Risk

In a virtual-reality course I taught, I encouraged students to attempt hard things and not worry about failing. At the end of the semester, I presented a stuffed penguin—“The First Penguin Award”—to the team that took the biggest gamble while not meeting its goals. The award came from the idea that when penguins jump in water that might have predators, well, one of them’s got to be the first penguin. In essence, it was a prize for “glorious failure.”

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted. And it can be the most valuable thing you have to offer.

Look for the Best In Everybody

I got this advice from Jon Snoddy, my hero at Disney Imagineering. “If you wait long enough,” he said, “people will surprise and impress you.” When you’re frustrated with people, when you’re angry, it may be because you haven’t given them enough time. Jon warned that this took great patience, even years. “In the end,” he said, “people will show you their good side. Just keep waiting. It will come out.”

Make Time for What Matters

When Jai and I went on our honeymoon, we wanted to be left alone. Since my boss demanded a way for people to reach me, I recorded this greeting:

“Hi, this is Randy. I waited until I was 39 to get married, so my wife and I are going away for a month. I hope you don’t have a problem with that, but my boss does. Apparently, I have to be reachable.” I then gave the names of Jai’s parents and the city where they lived. “If you call directory assistance, you can get their phone number. And then, if you can convince my in-laws that your emergency merits interrupting their only daughter’s honeymoon, they have our number.” We didn’t get any calls.

Time is all you have. And you may find one day that you have less than you think.

Let Kids Be Themselves

Because I’ve been so vocal about my childhood dreams, people have asked me about the dreams I have for my own kids. As a professor, I’ve seen how disruptive it can be for parents to have specific dreams for their children. My job is to help my kids foster a joy for life and develop the tools to fulfill their own wishes. My wishes for them are very exact and, given that I won’t be there, I want to be clear: Kids, don’t try to figure out what I wanted you to become. I want you to become what you want to become. And I want you to feel as if I am there with you, whatever path you choose.

Adapted from the book The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch and Wall Street Journal reporter Jeffrey Zaslow. Copyright © 2008 Randy Pausch. To be published by Hyperion. All rights reserved.

AFTER THE LECTURE
After I gave my lecture in September, I expected to go home and quietly spend time with my family. I never imagined that my talk would be viewed online by millions worldwide. The response has overwhelmed and moved me. Thousands of people have written to me about their life lessons. I’ve also been buoyed by former students who’ve told me how my teaching made a difference to them. There’s no greater gift for a teacher.

I’ve used my unexpected fame to advocate for pancreatic cancer research. Last month, I testified before Congress to seek funding for my disease, which is considered the deadliest of cancers.

I’ve had great fun too. In my lecture, I told of two childhood dreams: playing in the NFL and being Captain Kirk on Star Trek. Strangers fulfilled those wishes. I was invited to scrimmage with the Pittsburgh Steelers and got to say a line in a new Star Trek film. Both experiences were thrilling.

I’m lucky to be living longer than I expected, allowing me more time with my kids. I’ve tried to do unforgettable things with them—such as swimming with dolphins—so they’ll have concrete memories of us and of my love for them.

I am honored that my lecture will live on and that people have found it beneficial. Honestly, though, the talk was for my kids, and it gives me comfort to know that they will one day watch it.

Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture - Carnegie Mellon

new posting... Is he serious?

How's this for an online profile?
"I have a very small family just me and my brother so in scence im very avalabule for a partner to be seclusive with. Im a very good cook:) I dont have a crimanal record,never been in jail other than the drunk tank. I dont meen to put so much on here but hey makes this easyer for all thanks"

Okay so it's mean to laugh but his spelling is atrocious or attrociussss or i don't even know how bad it is. Thank goodness he's never been to jail - "except for the drunk tank"!!!

Words to live by

"I may not walk the straight and the narrow, but I sure in hell try to cross it as often as I can!"--J. Golden Kimball

True Friends...

I've been having this thought the last couple days. I had a friend (D) come visit. Before, I get into the visit, let me tell you about D. We met when we were 7. I'm now in my 30's. So we've known each other a while. We've been through a lot and I'd have to say that she put up with a lot from me. We were roommates for a few years in college and then we lived near each other in DC until I moved here to the NW. I absolutely love this girl! She's probably the only friend that I've ever told everything about my life too. There are no secrets that I keep from her. We can just talk about anything and everything. When we were younger, it would take us forever to hang up the phone. I love that we can see each other a few times a year and it's like picking right up from where we left off.

So, D came to visit for a week. The whole time she was here, I tried to sell the NW. (Her parents would kill me if she moved this far....).
While she was here, we: went to the Sting and the Police concert, beach on the river, picked up fresh berries, went to a couple parties and get togethers with friends, she came to my singles ward, went to the ocean and to the waterfalls, we went to a bookstore (very important to our lives).

As I drove away from the dropping D off at the airport yesterday, I reflected on the fact that it was just a fun week.... and how if we contrast it with the week I had my NW roommate in DC with me, there is such a difference of the level of friendship and peace and just goodness between us. I really appreciate our friendship. I feel like the friendship between us is only stronger after this trip. That didn't happen with E(NW roomie) and I. So, D - thanks for being such a great and true friend. I love ya!

(p.s.... I want to get married by may 15th 2009 so get working on getting married before me.....) I have hope and faith.... (see quotes below)

Hope

My brother sent me this quote today:
"Hope is the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promises to you. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance. It is believing and expecting that something will occur. When you have hope... you have confidence and assurance that all things will work together for your good."
See my 2007 post with the quote on Faith... They go hand in hand.

Marriage Tidbit 1:

Can anyone confirm the following? When I had the conversation with my former catholic priest friend - I asked him about Mary and Joseph. He said that all they had to do was state their intent (Betrothal?) and Joseph could have relations with Mary. We know that he didn't until after Christ was born. But it sounds like all you have to say - "I'm married to you" and it was good enough. A ceremony wasn't necessary.

This is interesting regarding the fact (I'm drawing this from 10th grade World Cultures) people in the middle east can marry by saying in a public place "I marry you, I marry you, I marry you." I'm not sure those are the right words but I also learned that you could be divorced by saying in a public place, "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you." This would reinforce a custom that didn't protect women - thus another reason the Catholic church would start the process of a ceremony that allows the woman to state her consent in entering a marriage.
Hmmm. Just a thought.

Wikipedia quote: No specific civil ceremony was required for the creation of a marriage among the Greeks and Romans; only mutual agreement and the fact that the couple must regard each other as husband and wife accordingly. In Ancient Greece, men usually married when they were in their 30's. They expected their
wives to be in their early teens. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage)

History of Marriage (Intro - Part 1)

While in NYC for a work trip, I ran into a former colleague. We use to work together during my old job. Essentially, my old job was the producer and they were the client. Anyway, "D" has an interesting story and I still don't understand it. All I know is he use to be a Catholic priest for over 20 years. The theory a friend of mine had is that he left because he lives an alternative life-style. I've not been able to confirm this but it makes sense in regards to certain comments.

Anyway, the story here is about the history of marriage. "D" and I ended up going to dinner on Monday night. While there, he mentioned that he'd resigned himself that he'll be single for the rest of his life. How do you respond to that? Especially when I don't even know his orientation. So I said, "I hope I don't have to spend the rest of my life single." "D" actually has investigated the LDS church a lot and knows a lot about our doctrine from a historical perspective. He still considers himself a true-catholic... so this is why I'm confused about his orientation. "D" has even read the D&C and other talks from General conference.

Okay, so my point is, he started telling me the history of marriage. He said that marraige as we know it didn't really exist until the 12th century. The church (Catholic) decided at that time that they wanted to inherit the Catholic Priest's estates (not have it passed on to their families) so they eliminated a priest's option to be married.

They added the matrimony act at that time because before that, women did need to consent.

Basically, I walked away from that conversation feeling like he was pushing the point about marriage evolving and that we're going towards non-marriage as a natural path of life. This was also partly in response to my telling him the story about the LDS Mid-singles conference with very few good men and about 300 women.

So I'm going to start researching marriage. I know what the church has said. I love the proclamation on the family. I want to believe that marriage is valuable to men and women and that I'm not just dreaming of a fairytale. I don't want to admit or give-up on what I believe.

MORE TO COME...
NOTE: Picture from: www.maryannjohnson.com/wedding.html

One of the most beautiful sites

I wanted to take a picture but I'm sure you need a special lens or setting. My camera phone definitely couldn't capture it. So what was it? It's lightning up inside the clouds. I watched it from my plane's window. We were somewhere above Ohio or Michigan. Our plane was outside the clouds but flying parallel with them. I saw the different flashes of light and just felt like there was music inside of that nature show. I couldn't almost hear the symphony.
So that's why I think lightning can be one of the most beautiful sites.

Discrimination against the LDS (Mormons)? No that doesn't happen in 2008?!?!?!

In a recent Washington post article, you can find out that the neighborhood on 16th street (near the U.S. Capitol) is protesting the building of a new church building.
Full Up, Fed Up On God's Avenue - washingtonpost.com

Here's the interesting thing, it seems that most LDS churches and temples are protested - and yet they only drive up the value of homes in the area. This happened in DC (Bethesda is where the DC temple is) and Boston. I don't think most home owners complain that their house values double in value. I know I wouldn't.

Most people buying a property would need to demo (especially if the original building is a nunnery). If a disco, dance, night club had moved in, I don't think they would have cleared the building and started over too. Actually, I complain about the construction happening in my neighborhood - but they're putting up houses - so there's nothing I can do about it. Someday I believe they will be done. I have to believe that. At least in the case of the 16th street neighborhood, you know it's only one building and a parking garage.

In regards to parking: I don't think a nightclub would have cared about the street parking being taken up. It sounds like the LDS Church is limiting the parking to a parking garage and street level parking lot. I know they do that in other neighborhoods (Alexandria, King Street Chapel). Here's the funny thing about the King Street chapel, down the street, the Baptist church takes up one lane on the street for parking and hires a cop to direct traffic. Does anyone complain about that? How can someone complain? If anything, the church building will only help the neighborhood. In Boston, near Harvard yard, there is free church parking that I know has only helped the neighborhoods. If anything, church members often are without parking because someone has taken advantage of the open spots.

If you hear the numbers (10 stories high) that does sound like a lot. And yet, the architect that the Post interviewed, said that the LDS church should have aimed higher. If you look of the map of where churches are, what is seriously wrong with one more church?

Maybe a sign like the Baptist church in Olde Towne Alexandria should be put up: "Church Parking, violators will be baptized" then maybe the neighborhood should complain.

I think it's interesting that a pastor taught falsely about what LDS people believe. Thankfully, the Post printed a retraction - and yet - I read the article first and didn't see the retraction until later. So I will emphasize here that Mormons (Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) believe in Jesus Christ. We believe that Christ is the Son of God. He is our Savior. We believe in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. If you haven't read either book, I highly recommend them.

People need to find something else to complain about - or maybe not complain - just get moving and helping people in the world instead of concentrating on things that really won't affect them negatively.

Note: Picture found on www.pastorbloopers.com/signs.html

Girls are not meant to live together

I firmly believe that women should not live together for long. I believed this when I moved to the NW but decided that having roommates was better than living sola. I don't know if that was a good decision. I have fun with my roommates but I often think that it would be better to have my own complete space where we didn't get on each other's nerves. I have lived with the same girl for about 12 months. Most of the time we have fun.

It seems, lately, that all we do is get on each other's nerves. It's been interesting. I am sometimes a sarcastic person and some people can't handle it as a joke. I know this - and yet.... I still said a sarcastic comment over and over about an American idol contestant that my roommate likes. It's part of who I am and I really have tried to work on this. Well, today, it "hit the fan" or well, message received that i was ticking my roommate off... she flipped me off today. Hmmm, that's a great experience. I really don't take that as a joke. I really hate anything to do with the F word. I don't like being told "f you" especially when it's someone who is your friend. It's really offensive to me.

Maybe it is like the time I said shutup in my friend's presence and it offended her. To me the F word is very offensive.

Well... Message received.

Oh the joys! Can living with women end soon? I hope that some man will want to move in and take their place sometime in the near-ish future. Someone who preferably can handle sarcasm or tell me to stop without flipping me off.... In the meantime, I resolve to only be sarcastic in a building up kind of way. I wasn't being sarcastic in a derogatory way about her - but about a celebrity that she likes. So, I need to remember that it goes beyond just a person's own circle but to their likes and dislikes.

Happy Memorial Day All! Hope you had a great weekend!

When Harry met Sally

Do you like the movie "When Harry met Sally"? I've only ever watched this movie in pieces but I realize that I don't like the feeling of the movie. It frustrates me. Some of the emotions are just real... it's frustrating that the relationship takes so long to develop. And then, the sleep together - that only messed up their relationship more! eventually, they get together. It wouldn't be an American/Hollywood movie without the happy ending. Still it's frustrating.

Go to Tri-Stake FHE's and mid-singles dance - it's worth the chance

So, I went to a tri-stake FHE for single-Adults a couple weeks ago. I walked in and was just looking around at the set-up. My friends had gone to the ladies room so I was solo at the entrance to the gym. The theme for the night was board games. I was looking at all the tables to see what games they had set up. Well, I guess I looked shy or unsure... so out of the cluster of a few people, this guy yells "you can come in - we're just talking about other ward and how we don't like them". Well, that's a great opening. He's kind of a punk but for the rest of the night it was total flirtation! I loved it and it was great to have for a change. His name is "J".
After FHE, we went to dinner/snacks at Applebees. I ended up switching tables and going over to J's table. My roommate and friend were at another table with a guy named "B" who shows up later :).
So there was all this joking about J and I (my friend Mo is a good friend of his). and since that night, she always comes up to me to say "I saw your boyfriend tonight" -

Well, a couple weeks later, I go to a party at B's house. J is there. I asked him what he was doing with his life (i know it's the typical question) and he motioned for me to go with him and find a corner - so we ended up talking for a while. At the end of the night, when I walked away, he got my phone #. It's been 2-3 weeks. He hasn't called.
But here is what I think is great - he's the complete opposite of K. He is 5 years younger, he's totally an extrovert. He's still in school (or going back). He loves to dance and be crazy and just talk out-loud. Honestly, I don't think we're a "perfect match" but I'd love to get to know him and hang out with him. I think we'd have fun. He has my number....

So I ran into B at the mid-singles dance and he told me I looked like Donna from the 70's show. Good thing, I've been told that before since I never watched the show. I've tried to see the show and really don't see the resemblance... apparently she's really known as "Hot-Donna" so it can't be a bad thing to have a resemblance :)

Well, B told me he'd like to ask me out sometime and I said I'd like that. It's nice to have a guy just tell you that. He emailed me that night (4AM) to get my phone # and then we talked the following day about when we'd go out and what we'd do. I chose wrong but I'll have to tell you that story in another posting.

it's just fun to be flirty and fun and just put yourself out there - scary but fun.
Deep thought: If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward. - That's from Jack Handy and I think it's pretty funny. I just wish you could hear it in my old roommate's voice - she's amazing with her deep thoughts!

So it's been two months...

I guess I'd have to say life moves on. And I love it. I haven't heard from K and that's okay. If things can end that suddenly - we really aren't meant to be anything. I'm looking for better - actually the Best. There's a talk about Good, Better, Best. "K" isn't the best - for me. Maybe he will be for someone else. I think, at this point, his ex has too much control over his life.

I do have a funny story - or embarrassing... I'm still "online" and well, I have a different profile now. I wanted to go back through and answer the questions differently. When you get matches - they base it on how you've answered "who you are". Well, since the multiple choice questions usually have more than one answer for me - I thought I would see if there were any changes. Well, guess who I was matched with: "K". Ha! too funny. So here's the bad shallow thing about me - I've decided or I refuse to open his profile - which means I can't close the relationship. I want him to make that decision.

Is that bad? I know he's looked at my profile but he hasn't closed it. Why not? I know he knows it's me. Hmmm. Strange man.

Big Miistake???

I wrote the guy "K" to try and get an explanation of why I didn't get an explanation for the relationship we had together just ending abruptly. As it stands right now, I met a guy online - we dated - and I guess I broke up with him over text message because up until emailing him last night... that was the last communication. Sad. I know. So here are the "top 10" reasons why he decided to have our relationship just fade without explanation....

1. He decided I was an axe murderer (this was a joke since we had never met in person - you really don't know who you're really meeting) or maybe He became busy working on his axe murdering ways and thought to spare me.

2.because I thought he was sarcastic when he recommended "no country for old men" but now that it won an Oscar, I'm not sure anymore.

3. because I wouldn't eat at his friend's party and he didn't eat at my friend's Halloween party.

4. because I squeezed his hands too tight for the not-so-scary movie (I Am Legend) and he still can't feel them.

5. For purposes of this blog anonymity I had to take #5 out - sorry.

6. because he decided my eyes are green and he really want to date a girl with blue eyes (my eyes vary in color).

7. that a girl with too many ties to the east coast and other "great" places like Montana and other work trips - it was time to knock his city off her list.

8. because &$*$#%%@ was never said and weren't my favorite words (so, confession - I don't like swearing - especially the "F" word).

9. because he finally got his movie (that he'd lent me) back so he didn't have to keep coming over and trying to get it back. (If I'd known this was the reason, I might have kept the movie a little longer).

10. because my red-head temper just got in the way (my friends have asked me if I ever get mad).

11. you decided i was more "average conservative"(my friend's husband once called me that - I wasn't flattered) than a little liberal and that doesn't mesh with an extreme-liberal-.

12. because of "other" and it's probably best to forget any email addresses or phone #s.

So was that a bad ending? I haven't received a response yet so I'm not holding my breath. I guess he really wasn't who I thought he was. And that means that I'd rather this relationship not continue anyway.... oh well... I don't know if it was a mistake to try and prolong the relationship or not. I really just want to know that we ended as friends. It'd be nice to do things with someone every once in a while even.

My friend made the statement that guys can't compartmentalize relationships from dating to friends - as well as females can. Do you agree? I've kind of always thought it was the opposite that girls had a hard time remembering a guy was just a friend, especially after dating them for a bit.... curious.

HELP! Calling all Song and Music experts

I want to make a CD with the following:
Best Break-up Songs
Best Girl wants to drown in her sorrows songs
Best Girl Anger-stage songs
Best Girl-Power songs
Best - there's still hope for love again songs
Best Love songs

So add your songs as comments! I'm excited to make the CD Mixes someday.

This reminds me of someone...

So, I'm not in the most charitable of moods right now and may regret posting this. A friend of mine found a link to a site that removed Garfield from the comic strips. You might find the comic strip funnier without Garfield. You be the judge....




see http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

I'll repent tomorrow :)

Do You Agree - Should Women Settle?

So, a woman wrote an article about Settling. She was sitting with her friend and their two children (products of sperm-donors) and thought "this is the dream" but then admits that really it wasn't the dream.

But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).

Instead, she tells girls that it's better not to wait for that 'special someone'...

My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year. (It’s hard to maintain that level of zing when the conversation morphs into discussions about who’s changing the diapers or balancing the checkbook.)

So do you agree? What are your thoughts?

More from the article:

Not long ago, Gabe, who is 43, dated a woman he liked very much one-on-one, but he broke up with her because “she couldn’t be haimish”—comfortable—with his friends in a group setting. He has no regrets. A female friend who broke up with a guy because he “didn’t like to read” and who is now, too, a single mom (with, ironically, no time to read herself) similarly felt no regrets—at first. At the time, she couldn’t imagine settling, but here’s the Catch-22: “If I’d settled at 39,” she said, “I always would have had the fantasy that something better exists out there. Now I know better. Either way, I was screwed.”

The paradox, of course, is that the more it behooves a woman to settle, the less willing she is to settle; a woman in her mid- to late 30s is more discriminating than one in her 20s. She has friends who have known her since childhood, friends who will know her more intimately and understand her more viscerally than any man she meets in midlife. Her tastes and sense of self are more solidly formed. She says things like “He wants me to move downtown, but I love my home at the beach,” and, “But he’s just not curious,” and “Can I really spend my life with someone who’s allergic to dogs?”

Click HERE to read the full article

So, I had two experiences today.

1. I went to church with some old friends. When I pulled up, I ended up walking in (late) with a guy I dated a few years ago (we'll call him Bill) and his wife (call her Sally). Well, Bill told me, as I was sitting next to him during the meeting that he recently changed his major and had finally quit the family business (yeah! He cut the apron strings). I'm truly happy for him because it sounds like he's finally found a niche he'll be happy in. I do find it ironic that a lot of things I had a "problem" with in our relationship - seems to have changed and improved. I don't take credit but I think it just came with him aging and maturing. I'm still happy that I didn't marry him - because he's one that did want to marry me - eek! - If I'd married him, my friends wouldn't have talked to me again. I wouldn't be a better person with him.

2. I sat next to a friend during Relief Society. She only got married about 3 months ago and this is the first I've seen her since the wedding shower. I asked her about married life. Her answer wasn't "It's great" and I'm really glad it was an honest answer. It wasn't a bad answer either... it's just interesting. She said that she's learned a lot about herself and how it's not just her steering anymore. There are two people steering now. She said she was learning how selfish and what a strong and stubborn personality she is. I personally don't think of her as a stubborn person - but definitely a strong personality. But then she threw in the fact that she doesn't think she could have learned these things outside of marriage.

I don't know what to learn from those statements that my friend said - i guess just hope that I can be who I am and just know that I have a lot to learn when I get married... WHEN :)... I hope that the adjustment won't be too dificult and that it could be fun too - I like getting to know someone - it is harder for me to share about myself. I guess I worry about the judgement of others. I just want to be accepted and loved anyway. It will take someone special for me to open up and not be so guarded. I really try to be open and knock down those walls. Hopefully, someone will come along and help me knock them down too.

Weird Profile

I have to say that the following "sold me" on wanting to know more about this guy....

Some additional information [the guy] wanted you to know is:

looking for an opportunity to get acquanted with a nice, family-oriented lady with a good character, who knows how to treat a real man who WANTS and WILL BE ABLE to have children. No games, no drama, no lies, no lawyers or other law enformcement agency ladies, or those having health problems and overly obese. Sorry, nothing personal ... One last thing: I prefer divorced women, who are divorced for THE RIGHT REASONS, not the shallow ones who will be looking for the next divorce, though if you have valid reasons as to why haven't got married for so long BUT consider yourself at the same time as family-oriented we can discuss it too :)

I got the hint (a little late)

So,the guy "K" that I've been sort of dating... well he officially "faded away" these last 8 days. I emailed him about 10 days ago. He wrote back a two quick sentence answer and nothing else. No follow-up needed. So, I decided not to answer him back. What was the point if I really wouldn't get an answer? If he doesn't want to hear from me, then who am I to become a stalker??? I definitely don't want to do that. So I should have just taken the hint and let it end there. RIGHT???

But silly me, I want some closure - or I'm a masochist who just wants to be told to her face that "I'm not wanted" - or he could even do the "it's not you it's me...." something is better than nothing.

So, in my masochistic state...this week, I was driving home and driving past his hometown. If technically we were truly "FRIENDS" then wouldn't it be okay to stop by? So, I called his home phone. SURPRISE - it actually rang (it's usually a busy signal). But big surprise (NOT) - he didn't answer. So I text messaged his phone and said I was driving by and could stop and talk. No answer. So then I texted the following, "k i think i will pass on by. I just wanted to talk but know it is late. Hope things r good. Good luck w/ everything - work, bball....Call me if u ever need someone to go to a movie with or just talk. -- best E.

Big Surprise - NO ANSWER. To be honest, this probably wasn't the best thing to do - to technically break up with a guy over text messaging... but then we did meet online ... so maybe it's only fitting to come full-circle :). I really wanted to do everything the "right way". I had rehearsed what I wanted to say.

I wanted to tell him how much I enjoyed meeting him. That it gave me a hope in the fact that there might be great guys out there who still remember to be gentlemen and appreciate women. I wanted to tell him thank you for all he did for me. I also wanted to apologize, because (especially towards the end) it was a very selfish relationship - where I reaped benefits but I don't think he was getting anything out of it. I wanted to "END" on a high note.

Oh well... it's only natural that it ended (i guess). He really was a great guy... but to be honest, he was a great guy in fall 2007.... hadn't been so great the last 2months. At least he'd been pretty absent so that makes him not as great as he was in the fall. Time to move onward and upward right??? You can only move up from falling down.

Who's Right: Different Theories on dating...

"Law of Propinquity" or "He's Just Not that into you?" or "The Rules"

Which thought process do you follow?

Best Song: Gives you chills!!

David from American Idol - Feb. 25th (70s night)

Why are Men so different?

So, it's a given that men and women think differently. The question I have, if women have been frustrated by men for 1000s of years, wouldn't you think we'd learn to raise our men correctly and in a way where they knew they needed to step up and be there? I don't understand why it's so hard for the male species to do this. Why haven't mother's stepped up and raised their sons to be like that. Maybe mothers forget the frustrations and choose not to even mess with 1000s of years of the evolving man. Or because the man got a woman, why would a father teach his son to do any differently than he did. Hmmmm. It's a frustrating cycle.

Corner of Your Heart

[Lyrics]
There's a corner of your heart for me
There's a corner of your heart just for me
I will pack my bags...Just to stay in the corner of your heart
Just to stay in the corner of your heart
There is room beneath your bed for me
There is room beneath your bed just for me
I will leave this town...Just to sleep underneath your bed
Just to sleep underneath your bed
There's one minute of your day
There's one minute of your day
I will leave this man...Just to occupy one minute of your day
Just to occupy one minute of your day
Just to sleep underneath your bed
Just to stay in the corner of your heart (less)

I want to care more

I've been dating this guy: K. We're good, I think. We just don't go any deeper - or change the status quo. I wonder if I put up the walls or if he's doing it - that say "don't go there". Monday night, he played bball for the first time in a few months - after an injury. I want to know how he did. I want to know how he feels. I told him that on Monday before he played. I haven't heard from him. I've decided I had to stop "stalking" him - so I will wait until he opens the channels. In the first few months of dating, I felt like there wasn't any of that - "oh I can't call him, i have to wait three days" thing. Now, after the holidays, I feel like I have to be more cautious. Does that mean this relationship is in a slump and it should end? What do i do to bring back the interest? I want to care more but I stop myself from going there. It's easy to get hurt when you let yourself believe there is more in the relationship than there is. I don't want to fall deeper than i have to - until I know he's falling too.

Deep Thought...

Einstein: It is a scale of proportions which makes the bad difficult and the good easy.

What do you think?

What's the secret???

I just heard on the news about a woman who is charged with bigamy - she's been married 6 times (no divorces)! How does the woman do it? I can't even get married once :).

Are there no Cookie Cutter Relationships?

So, I was thinking today about a friend of mine. She met a guy via friends but online. They wrote for a few months and then she met him in October 2006. By December, they were very very close. By February, he was baptised into the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A miracle because he'd been agnostic until this point. In March, they got engaged. In May 07 they were married.

Now, let's look at me. I met a guy online. We met in-person in October. We've dated and even though we're semi-long-distance (he lives 45 minutes away), we haven't seen each other too often. It's February and I'm going to be super cautious in my Valentine gift that I'm giving him next week. I don't want to be overly mushy. I just want to bring some sparkle into his life. I hope I do that. But that's where we're at. We've hardly talked about the church - so I don't think he'll be joining any time soon. That's okay. I haven't prioritized that in our relationship. It's been really nice to date someone who likes me, respects me, cares. There are few guys around who do that for any girl.

So while part of me is jealous that it worked out so well for my friend, I'm okay with status quo. We're doing alright and figuring things out in our own time. We're definitely not from a cookie cutter relationship.

"love, encouragement, appreciation & respect"

Love. Encouragement. Appreciation. Respect. These 4 words are what President Hinckley used to describe his wife of 66 years. These 4 words are what I want to use for my future husband... whoever he may be.

I'm not just a cookie in a cookie jar - waiting to be picked

Imagine a large clear cookie jar sitting on the kitchen counter. This jar is filled with amazingly flavored cookies and very bland cookies. The cookies range from healthy to low-fat, hard, normal, and decadent. If you are female and in the LDS world of singles wards - which cookie do you feel like and what kinds are you surrounded by?

The healthy cookies are your Molly-Mormon type. Some of you are super bland and tasting like cardboard. Some of you are not so pretty on the outside but have great flavor. Then there are the healthy cookies that might as well be the best and riches chocolate chip cookie you can find. There are all kinds of beauty.

The low-fat cookies could be the fake-sweet women in the world; or maybe you fulfill those cravings that everyone has for something sweet and good in their life. Are you for real?

If you are a hard cookie - you're an LDS female who put on a protective shell. You've been out there. You've been hurt, chosen then passed over. You know you could break, so instead you hardened and have built your walls. Sometimes you can be known as bitter or cynical.

This blog post could be considered cynical. I hope that it's just a different perspective.

The decadent cookie or female is putting it all out there - you've got all kinds of layers, you're showing it all, you're putting on the glitz and not afraid to allow your flavors to be tasted.

So now, we have our cookie jar filled with all the types. I’m sure there are many other types and other definitions and explanations for the flavor of cookie. But this isn’t the end of the story. The cookie jar is on the counter. It’s a large clear jar that is open for all to see what is inside. Who are the people looking at this big clear cookie jar? Who are the people choosing the cookies?

LDS Single Men.

Have you ever been outside a singles ward when each block/class ends? It's like it's the social event of the year! All the adults have to stand in the hall-way and talk and talk and talk. Sometimes it can be considered a cookie fashion show of sorts - where the cookies spread out and mix and mingle for all to see. It's the reason why I call a family ward "real church" and a singles ward... well a singles ward.

What's the reason we go to church? To put on a fashion show and do the social thing? It's not why I want to go but I often fall in that trap (or cookie jar).

Going back to the ones choosing from the cookie jar, or to LDS Single Males, you pick and choose, you nibble, and you throw back. When do you ever make a decision? Well, considering there are so many cookies to choose from (at least 3 or 4 cookies to every man?)- and the cookies are so willing to put themselves out there and take what they can get...no wonder you are are the way you are. It's like there are so many options that you've decided to sample as much as you can. I really believe that it takes a true miracle to find a really good, LDS males who is a heterosexual, high-achieving, priesthood-following, respecter of women. You are rare. The fact that there are some who actually decide to choose, actually take-out the cookie and eventually commit is a miracle.

Why are you cookies (i.e. LDS single females) allowing yourself to be on display in the cookie jar? What else can we do? ….

A lot!

DISCLAIMER: To be honest, I don't have as much respect for the general population of LDS single men as I would like. I know there are good ones out there. My friends have married some good ones. I know they are out there but few and far between.

Why are the women in the church willing to do so much for THE man? Is it because we have to compete for so few great ones? We're willing to compromise a lot for sometimes so little. Why?!?!

Is it because we'll take what we can get because there's not guarantee there really is another great guy out there for us?

I wish it was a requirement for the LDS Single women to watch the Oprah show of "He's just not that into you". Let's Mormon-ize it a bit and assume we follow our church standards (i.e. not sleeping with someone before marriage...). The concept is, if the guy isn't asking, isn't doing things to be proactive about pursuing you, then ‘He’s just not that into you.’

When it comes to LDS Men and women, the women put up with very little.
Why are you allowing yourself to wait by the phone?
Why are you allowing yourself to invite him over just one more time?
Why are you allowing yourself to make him dinner or take him cookies - just one more time?
Why are you allowing yourself to hang-out with him - just one more time?

You are worth more than that! You deserve more than that! You deserve to know that a man is "into you"

I'm convinced that the women in the church need to unite and demand more of the men in the church. There are so many amazing amazing women in the church!

I think it's disrespectful of a guy to be in a ward with over 100 single women and say "there's no one to date". Are you kidding me?

You've got problems dude and it's time for the women of the church to recognize that. Women's excuse shouldn't be ‘it's all we've got.’

It’s not all we’ve got. WOMEN – you deserve and should expect more!

Outside the LDS Singles World and into just the world of single heterosexual men - women of the church often receive more respect, appreciation, love and are pursued more than inside the church. It makes it difficult sometimes when you know you can be appreciated outside the church more than in the church.

It's not right!

It's not upholding our church standards!

It's wrong!

To be honest, I don't know if there are many normal single LDS men who are man enough out there for the great women in the church. Women shouldn't have to look outside the church for the respect and love they deserve.

It's frustrating.

It's wrong.

CONFESSION: I’m a hypocrite. If you consider what cookie I am…. I realize that I have metamorphosed into many different cookies. Currently, I'm the cookie that has decided that as a 30 year old, single LDS woman, I don't have to be on display any more. My cupboards are mostly locked. I want love, yes. I don't think I'm hard. I'm probably a little cynical. But, I refuse to be on display. I refuse to let myself be nibbled. I want respect. I want to be appreciated and pursued. I deserve it.

Maybe I'll be single for the rest of my life. Maybe not.

As a cookie – I don’t know what flavor I am. I know that I refuse to do the food fashion shows. I have decided to open myself to other avenues. I may attend a singles-ward, but I don’t have to embrace the culture. I’m a 30 yeard old LDS Single woman. I’m proud of my achievements in life. I have tried not to put my life on hold – just because that great LDS Single guy might be around the corner.

It’s your turn to find me.

I’ll do what I can to put myself out there – without being on display.

But note that you, perpetually single LDS men, have competition. I’ve opened myself to other avenues: maybe someone who has been married before, maybe converting a husband from outside the church. If men outside the church respect women more, than maybe I need to convert a good man instead of lowering my standards for a man who just happens to already be LDS. I won’t just say “because he’s LDS – then he’s good enough.” That’s not good enough.

To you men out there “be into her”. Whoever she is - she deserves it!

To the cookies/LDS Females: Remember that you deserve the best and should demand it. Let us all unite and demand more. You'd think that would make the men do something about it and we'd start seeing the good ones come forward?

Decide what kind of cookie you are – what kind of jar you are in. There are options. make the men realize we have options too. maybe they can be the cookies, and us the choosers.

(written 7/1/2007)

chance for LDS women to marry LDS Man = slim to none

So, I just talked to a friend today. She told me that in ward conference, they went over the statistics in her ward.
200 women, 100 men.
of those 100 men, 75 are Return Missionaries
of those 75, 35 are endowed.

So, let's look at this number: 35 potentially 'great' guys to 200 great and fabulous women = 1 to 6 ratio?

Something seems off to me.
Good luck women - we're going to need it!

Stop me Now!!!

So, I really want to write the guy but my friends have advised me not to. So, I find myself writing on these blogs so that I can feel like I'm doing something. Stop me! Don't let me write him.

Marking Territory

WARNING: This post might be offensive to the more conservative reader.

Have you ever had someone claim you as theirs? I was at dinner last night with a couple of friends. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent) Marta and Neil (married about 8 months) invited Marta's sister (Sarah), myself and Neil's old roommate (Brendan) to their house for some cornbeef and cabbage. The conversations at this table are always hilarious and off-the-wall. Last night was no exception.

Somehow we got on the conversation of marking territory and how if human's were pets - then Neil had virtually "pee'd" on Marta to claim her as his. Marriage of course would be the ultimate 'pee-ing'. We talked about how guys will do that - where they grab your hand, put their arms around you or something else to signal to other guys "she's mine." We were talking about how girls don't normally do this but it Brendan took exception to that. He told the story of a girl he'd been on a few dates with. They went to a party and she grabbed his hand at the party to basically say 'he's mine'. She virtually 'pee'd' on Brendan. Brendan didn't like it and it was too much too soon.

For me, I'm usually very cautious about 'peeing' on a guy. I know 'the rules' and basically they say we should let the guy do the 'peeing'. Currently, I'm in a situation where I've been dating a guy and right around the holidays - he drew back and took a major step back in his pursuit. You know, it's really hard for a girl to know that the guy has done this when he doesn't communicate it. So I figured things were status quo. They aren't - as far as I can figure. I had to figure out for myself that he had stepped back and that the 'rules' had reverted back - or come back into play. Now I'm wondering if things will go back to normal (whatever that is) or if it's just dying. I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to get him to 'pee' on me - virtually of course. I'd like him to claim me as His.

President Gordon B. Hinckley - He's just so dang cute!

This evening, the LDS community was rocked with the news that President Hinckley, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons), died at age 97 today. He has been the prophet of our church for 12 years, and served many years in the church, bringing it into the 21st century, in more ways than just literally. I love President Hinckley. I think he's one of the dearest men that this world has known. I love his smile, his humor, his wisdom, the way his voice cracks when he talks. President Hinckley loved to serve the people of the church; beyond Utah and internationally. We have over 100 temples (over 150); that happened since he became prophet. I hope that because of him, we will all 'stand a little taller'. I know that I need to stand taller.

For me personally, President Hinckley became the prophet in February of my senior year of High School. It has been in the last 12 years that i've really developed my sense of beliefs in the gospel and President Hinckley has been there as the head of our church during the most formative time of my life. President Hinckley led a full life and is a great example for all of us to follow and try to emulate.

Single LDS Men: Do they suffer from Buridanitis (an extraordinarily rich mind)?

On Oprah.com there is an article about indecision and the fact that in this day and age, we have a plethora of choices. The fact that we sometimes cant make decision may be a sign of "an extraordinarily rich mind". This condition even has a name: Buridanitis.
DEFINITION:
Buridanitis, the term for the mental gridlock we all experience now and then, afflicted great thinkers like Socrates and Saint Augustine, whose imaginations saw endless options and opportunities.
HYPOTHESIS:
So, I ask, maybe the problem with Single LDS Men is that they are so extraordinary and thus suffer from the condition of not being able to make a decision.

KNOWLEDGE TO KNOW:
1st think you should know. People make decisions in one of two ways:
1. compare the pros and cons.
2. go with their gut

SOLUTION:
According to this article, philosophers have narrowed down the science of how to make decisions into 6 steps. So according to the expert, Gary Klein, you should follow these steps in this order:

• Get in touch with your gut first. Once you start listing pros and cons, your rational mind will drown out your intuition. Klein defines intuition as the accumulation of experience converted to flash-fast thinking. "As you ponder that new job, you might think about the way you were treated at the interview and that may color your reaction," he says. "Even a bit of body language could instill some discomfort that could be warning you off."
  
• To uncover your intuitive point of view, you can even flip a coin—not to make the decision for you, but so you can register your gut reaction to the result. How do you feel when one option drops out? If you're disappointed, ask yourself why.
  
• Open up the options and visualize each one. Doing research is obviously valuable, but sometimes the fear of making a mistake can keep you researching beyond the point of productivity. On the flip side, the hunger for the relief of making a decision, any decision, can keep you from doing enough legwork. Without overdoing it, brainstorm a lot of options.
• Think creatively about combining the best pieces of each one by compromising or going whole hog: You could buy both the red and the black sweater.
  
• Banish vague fears, such as "It may be a mistake," and instead try to see yourself in a specific scenario. Ask yourself concrete questions about the possible outcome: What's the worst that could happen? What would I do then? Could I live with that? "It's more important to visualize how each option would turn out," says Klein. "If you can, actually walk through them or do something on a trial basis. It's hard to evaluate things you haven't really savored."
  
• Let go of the idea of the perfect answer. You cannot possibly get all the info, nor can you foretell the future and calculate all the risks. Chill out. "The harder a decision is to make, the closer the outcomes are to each other, and the less it matters," says Klein. "If you are agonizing over different resorts in Hawaii, you're just beating yourself up. There is never a guarantee that you're making the right decision. Just accept that."
  
• Trust yourself. Improve your intuition by examining your decisions after you've made them. Look at whether you would do it the same way again.

SOURCE:
http://www2.oprah.com/health/omag/health_omag_200101_reinven.jhtml?promocode=CNNmoodDL

We're Brothers forever...

American Idol started this last week. The first few shows are showing the awful and amazing singers who try out for this contest. While I have to admit that I love Carrie Underwood, for the most part, the winners of American Idol don't necessarily get very far. Still, it's a fun show. Well, the judges went a little overboard in making fun of this guy (see the video below). It is funny and a "catchy" tune, but still, they made fun of the guy and he was clueless!

27 dresses - chic flick formula movie

SYNOPSIS:
Jane is an idealistic, romantic and completely selfless woman, a perennial bridal attendant whose own happy ending is nowhere in sight. Jane has always been good at taking care of others, but not so much in looking after herself. Her entire life has been about making people happy--and she has a closet full of 27 bridesmaid dresses to prove it. One memorable evening, Jane manages to shuttle between wedding receptions in Manhattan and Brooklyn, a feat witnessed by Kevin, a newspaper reporter who realizes that a story about this wedding junkie is his ticket off the newspaper's bridal beat. Jane finds Kevin's cynicism counter to everything she holds dear--namely weddings, and the two lock horns. Further complicating Jane's once perfectly-ordered life is the arrival of younger sister Tess. Tess immediately captures the heart of Jane's boss, George. Tess enlists her always-accommodating sister to plan yet another wedding--Tess and George's--but Jane's feelings for him lead to shocking revelations--and maybe the beginning of a new life.
REVIEW:
I went to this movie with about 10 girls, and the guy I am dating. I feel bad. It was the quintessential chic flick. It followed the formula of what that is. I really wasn't impressed. As my friend said 'the best part was "jane's" outfits each day". If that's what makes the movie good - then I think that's pretty sad. I guess the great part was I had a guy go to the movie with me. sad part - he left early that night - so he could go to a movie where he needed to see "heads chopped off." So, girls, be careful what chick flicks you take your guy too. Since then, I've found several guys who liked the movie "Juno". So, I'm thinking we should have skipped out on 27 dresses and gone to Juno. That's a laugh out loud movie.

I freaked out

So, it's been determined that I freaked out and shouldn't have asked this guy I've been dating "where are we at????" I really tried not to do that - I wanted to talk in person but opportunity was limited, so I finally just wrote it in an email (bad idea). To be honest, I didn't really ask that, i just decided that it would be good for me to tell him that I like him. Not a good idea. Haven't I read "the Rules" book many many times? I hate the game but now I'm thinking there's something to the actual rules.

SO.... the next time I want to freak out... I'm suppose to either not send the email or i can send it to a friend and have her read it - instead of the boy.
Or...

I just saw this video by Natasha Bedingfield: "I want to have your baby". The words for the song are funny but the video makes it even funnier. I wish I could post the video here but here's a link to the video on Youtube.
LINK HERE

This should at least make me laugh and make me remember not to be so stalker-ish.
Lyrics:
"I Wanna Have Your Babies"

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
But what if it don't?
What happens in my head stays in my head
But sometimes it won't
What if you knew what I was thinking
Would it make you like WOHHHHH!
Don't wanna risk puttin' my foot in it
So ill keep my mouth closed!
All you hear is...

mmm mmm m m m m
Gonna button my lip So the truth don't slip
mmm mmm m m m m m
Gotta beep out what I really wanna shoutWoops Did I say it out loud, did you find out
I wanna have your babies
It's serious like crazy
I wanna have your babies
I see 'em springing up like daisies

Some of my feelings keep escapin'
so I make it a joke
Nonchalant I keep on fakin'
So my heart don't get broke
I'm in a big big big big ocean in a tiny little boat
Ill only put the idea out there If I know its gonna float

All you hear is...

mmm mmm m m m m m
Gonna button my lip
So the truth don't slip
mmm mmm m m m m m
Gotta beep out
What I really wanna shout
Woops Did I say it out loud
Did you find out
I wanna have your babies
It's serious like crazy
I wanna have your babies
I see 'em springing up like daisy's
In my head there's a slot machine
And I'm bettin' you're the one in my hopes and dreams

Trust me it would scare you if you knew what was goin' on in my brain
Trust me it would scare you that I've picked out the church all the schools all the names. If you knew it was all about you every wish Every candle every coin in a fountain. Trust me it would scare you
Thats why I go...
mmm mmm m m m m m
mmm mmm m m m m m

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Picture taken from Google images search - the hannies . com