Big Miistake???

I wrote the guy "K" to try and get an explanation of why I didn't get an explanation for the relationship we had together just ending abruptly. As it stands right now, I met a guy online - we dated - and I guess I broke up with him over text message because up until emailing him last night... that was the last communication. Sad. I know. So here are the "top 10" reasons why he decided to have our relationship just fade without explanation....

1. He decided I was an axe murderer (this was a joke since we had never met in person - you really don't know who you're really meeting) or maybe He became busy working on his axe murdering ways and thought to spare me.

2.because I thought he was sarcastic when he recommended "no country for old men" but now that it won an Oscar, I'm not sure anymore.

3. because I wouldn't eat at his friend's party and he didn't eat at my friend's Halloween party.

4. because I squeezed his hands too tight for the not-so-scary movie (I Am Legend) and he still can't feel them.

5. For purposes of this blog anonymity I had to take #5 out - sorry.

6. because he decided my eyes are green and he really want to date a girl with blue eyes (my eyes vary in color).

7. that a girl with too many ties to the east coast and other "great" places like Montana and other work trips - it was time to knock his city off her list.

8. because &$*$#%%@ was never said and weren't my favorite words (so, confession - I don't like swearing - especially the "F" word).

9. because he finally got his movie (that he'd lent me) back so he didn't have to keep coming over and trying to get it back. (If I'd known this was the reason, I might have kept the movie a little longer).

10. because my red-head temper just got in the way (my friends have asked me if I ever get mad).

11. you decided i was more "average conservative"(my friend's husband once called me that - I wasn't flattered) than a little liberal and that doesn't mesh with an extreme-liberal-.

12. because of "other" and it's probably best to forget any email addresses or phone #s.

So was that a bad ending? I haven't received a response yet so I'm not holding my breath. I guess he really wasn't who I thought he was. And that means that I'd rather this relationship not continue anyway.... oh well... I don't know if it was a mistake to try and prolong the relationship or not. I really just want to know that we ended as friends. It'd be nice to do things with someone every once in a while even.

My friend made the statement that guys can't compartmentalize relationships from dating to friends - as well as females can. Do you agree? I've kind of always thought it was the opposite that girls had a hard time remembering a guy was just a friend, especially after dating them for a bit.... curious.

HELP! Calling all Song and Music experts

I want to make a CD with the following:
Best Break-up Songs
Best Girl wants to drown in her sorrows songs
Best Girl Anger-stage songs
Best Girl-Power songs
Best - there's still hope for love again songs
Best Love songs

So add your songs as comments! I'm excited to make the CD Mixes someday.

This reminds me of someone...

So, I'm not in the most charitable of moods right now and may regret posting this. A friend of mine found a link to a site that removed Garfield from the comic strips. You might find the comic strip funnier without Garfield. You be the judge....




see http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

I'll repent tomorrow :)

Do You Agree - Should Women Settle?

So, a woman wrote an article about Settling. She was sitting with her friend and their two children (products of sperm-donors) and thought "this is the dream" but then admits that really it wasn't the dream.

But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).

Instead, she tells girls that it's better not to wait for that 'special someone'...

My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year. (It’s hard to maintain that level of zing when the conversation morphs into discussions about who’s changing the diapers or balancing the checkbook.)

So do you agree? What are your thoughts?

More from the article:

Not long ago, Gabe, who is 43, dated a woman he liked very much one-on-one, but he broke up with her because “she couldn’t be haimish”—comfortable—with his friends in a group setting. He has no regrets. A female friend who broke up with a guy because he “didn’t like to read” and who is now, too, a single mom (with, ironically, no time to read herself) similarly felt no regrets—at first. At the time, she couldn’t imagine settling, but here’s the Catch-22: “If I’d settled at 39,” she said, “I always would have had the fantasy that something better exists out there. Now I know better. Either way, I was screwed.”

The paradox, of course, is that the more it behooves a woman to settle, the less willing she is to settle; a woman in her mid- to late 30s is more discriminating than one in her 20s. She has friends who have known her since childhood, friends who will know her more intimately and understand her more viscerally than any man she meets in midlife. Her tastes and sense of self are more solidly formed. She says things like “He wants me to move downtown, but I love my home at the beach,” and, “But he’s just not curious,” and “Can I really spend my life with someone who’s allergic to dogs?”

Click HERE to read the full article

So, I had two experiences today.

1. I went to church with some old friends. When I pulled up, I ended up walking in (late) with a guy I dated a few years ago (we'll call him Bill) and his wife (call her Sally). Well, Bill told me, as I was sitting next to him during the meeting that he recently changed his major and had finally quit the family business (yeah! He cut the apron strings). I'm truly happy for him because it sounds like he's finally found a niche he'll be happy in. I do find it ironic that a lot of things I had a "problem" with in our relationship - seems to have changed and improved. I don't take credit but I think it just came with him aging and maturing. I'm still happy that I didn't marry him - because he's one that did want to marry me - eek! - If I'd married him, my friends wouldn't have talked to me again. I wouldn't be a better person with him.

2. I sat next to a friend during Relief Society. She only got married about 3 months ago and this is the first I've seen her since the wedding shower. I asked her about married life. Her answer wasn't "It's great" and I'm really glad it was an honest answer. It wasn't a bad answer either... it's just interesting. She said that she's learned a lot about herself and how it's not just her steering anymore. There are two people steering now. She said she was learning how selfish and what a strong and stubborn personality she is. I personally don't think of her as a stubborn person - but definitely a strong personality. But then she threw in the fact that she doesn't think she could have learned these things outside of marriage.

I don't know what to learn from those statements that my friend said - i guess just hope that I can be who I am and just know that I have a lot to learn when I get married... WHEN :)... I hope that the adjustment won't be too dificult and that it could be fun too - I like getting to know someone - it is harder for me to share about myself. I guess I worry about the judgement of others. I just want to be accepted and loved anyway. It will take someone special for me to open up and not be so guarded. I really try to be open and knock down those walls. Hopefully, someone will come along and help me knock them down too.

Weird Profile

I have to say that the following "sold me" on wanting to know more about this guy....

Some additional information [the guy] wanted you to know is:

looking for an opportunity to get acquanted with a nice, family-oriented lady with a good character, who knows how to treat a real man who WANTS and WILL BE ABLE to have children. No games, no drama, no lies, no lawyers or other law enformcement agency ladies, or those having health problems and overly obese. Sorry, nothing personal ... One last thing: I prefer divorced women, who are divorced for THE RIGHT REASONS, not the shallow ones who will be looking for the next divorce, though if you have valid reasons as to why haven't got married for so long BUT consider yourself at the same time as family-oriented we can discuss it too :)