Patience

I've been learning patience in many things, in my thoughts, in my working with family and in dating. We're not engaged and it's now the week of Christmas. It's the way it goes. I found out a couple weeks ago that Dr. M believes that the following has to be figured out before you get engaged:

1. Have the ring

2. Have a date or at least a general idea of the actual date in mind.

Well, we (as far as I know) have neither of those things figured out yet. Although January would have been fun and great and I really did want it... it wasn't realistic. I want to have a nice wedding with lots of DIY touches. January makes it impossible.

In the month of November, I was home 1 weekend - and that was the weekend I had my family visiting for Thanksgiving (the whole weekend at my house). The month of December, I have had no weekends at home. In fact, I spent a week in Orange County, then flew home for two days, but really flew directly to Seattle. Drove home and the next day I went to Boston for 2 days.

So why aren't we engaged? I don't know but until a few weeks ago, i didn't know what requirements Dr. M had in his head :).

The Ring: We worked with a girl named Sarah. She was really nervous and it was weird. It turns out, that the ring store that Dr. M had a connection to, doesn't really specialize in special designs for rings. They contract that out. so, after about 6 weeks of going back and forth with Sarah and many misunderstandings (i.e. appointments made but she wasn't there and thought they were for different days)... she finally gave us the name of the place they contract out with and told us to work directly with them.

So, on the first weekend of December, Dr. M and I had a real nice date in downtown Seattle. We went to the recommended ring store and I loved it! They specialize in antique/estate jewelry. The owner understood exactly what I wanted. Crazy-ly, because my Grandma's ring was two-tone Gold/silver and diamonds, I knew that I was going to go with diamonds when I said I wouldn't in the past. But working with my Grandma's ring, that is what works best. using my grandma's ring doesn't in anyway save us any money and I walked out of that store, kind of shocked and on air that Dr. M wanted to spoil me that much and that I would have such a ring. It's going to be beautiful and fun.

After visiting the ring store, we went to dinner and then to the musical, "The Christmas Story". It was cute. It's based on the movie. I've never been able to watch the movie, mostly because of the cinematography of being filmed in the 70s I think. Anyway, my favorite song was "it's a sticky situation" which the kid sings while his tongue is stuck to the poll.

It was great to have a date night that weekend.

The following weekend, I had flown in directly from Orange County and my work Christmas party. That Saturday, we had a 3 year old's bday party to attend and help out at. It was fun but crazy. Then, Dr. M and I hung out with his brother's family and picked up his car (which we decided to fix instead of sell and go into debt to buy a new one).

This last weekend, we did house stuff. Dr. M and I had met with a realtor, also named Sarah, about what we needed to do to sell his condo. We have a list of about 40 things. So, this weekend, we worked on getting the things we needed to do the cleaning up/redecorating. For example, his couch was free and while hidden, it is held together by additional batting and duct tape. The realtor wants that gone (DARN!!!! said sarcastically). Also, his dining room has been his office. We have to turn it into a dining room. I have a table in my garage, since I am a collector of STUFF, and many other decorative items.

Little things like replace the shower curtain and reposition the bed in the bedroom area also on the list.

I'm hoping we can get his condo on the market by the middle of January. That's assuming that his brother helps us replace the vinyl flooring in the kitchen before that.

It's crazy and been a crazy last few months. Up until our date to the Christmas Story, I felt like Dr. M and i were always running and didn't have time to just enjoy and be dating.

So, I do joke about how he hasn't proposed to me yet and I might not say yes... Although, we just bought a new couch and other things, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to say yet :). At the same time, I do wonder when we'll get married. It seems like we have a huge list of things we need to accomplish first and it just seems insurmountable. And financially scary - since we have to figure out how to sell his place, buy a place and then sell mine.

One of my lessons in patience came with the list of things we have to do. I learned that Dr. M really does move on things... just quietly and has to process them and then he makes a plan and he's way better at getting things done than I am after that... he has a plan and if it is on his list, he will work to cross it off. I need to have a list instead of 100 lists and actually get things done.

Lots to catch up on

My life has been crazy and amazing and sad and happy. I can't believe I haven't posted since June. I think that is sad because I will miss not having the stories as my journal. I have my texts :) someday, I will need to go through them and Facebook to chronologically figure out what I was doing with my life for the past 4-5 months...

My life, this year, has been about driving to Seattle. I really have lived for the weekends.
this is the recap in 20 seconds :).

June - My friend C came to visit. We visited 3 cities in 3 days pretty much :). She landed in Seattle. We drove straight to Vancouver, BC. We did the touristy things there, drove back the next day to Seattle. We met Dr. M for dinner and were supposed to the touristy things that night and the next day.... BUT... my brother was in a car accident. Actually, he was on a bike. He ran into a parked utility vehicle ELEGALLY parked in the bike lane around a bend. "Chasing parked cars" as someone referred to it later. My brother is lucky to be alive. So, C and I got to drive back to Portland. Before we went, we got the 15 minute driving tour by dr. M of Seattle. Then we drove late into the evening to Portland. I dropped her off at my house to sleep in clean sheets and a nice bed (1 AM). I slept at my brother's house to help watch the kids. The next day, we took all the kids with us to the beach and the Tillamook cheese factory. Yummmm cheese.

Side note on my brother: It's taken months and he's still doing physical therapy for the next year. He'll be better eventually. It's been a hard year for him.

July 4th - we went to Dr. M's friend's condo (almost on the Canadian border). It's amazing because it's on this horse-shoe lake/peninsula and over 100+ private parties were putting of thousands of dollars. I really like his friends D&T. They have 2 kids. They had two friends staying with them E&C and their Godson too. They are fabulous cooks. I took up a double batch of Texas Caviar and Spinach-Artichoke dip (my favorite things to make these days) - turns out they made fun of me for how much I made. I was just making what would be required (if not more) for my family and their kids. We ended up eating it all over the weekend, so I don't know what the big deal was :).

Summer: Dr. M and I went to our first Baseball game together. I think we went in June or May. We saw the Mariners. I had fun going with him and eating all the traditional junkfood you eat in the stadium.

August: I met Dr. M's dad and his brother & wife from South Carolina. Both were great experiences and they were fun people to get to know. I think there are stories here that deserve their own blog posts.

Over the past months... probably since March, we talked about "M" but never directly. We really have enjoyed just dating eachother. The reality is, we have complicated finances and situations (living in two states and owning 3 properties between us at this moment). One day, I mentioned to him, "So if you ever want to buy me something, just so you know... ummmm... I know what i want." That day, he was driving me back to his car and started GRINNING. I asked what. He told me that the following weekend, we were hanging out with his friend J and her husband B is in the "Diamond business" with his family company.
UPdate on that: B ended up not being at the dinner with us. In fact, we didn't do dinner with J. We just went to the driving range. Then Dr. M and I went to the "LOCKS" in Seattle and then to the nicest sea food (yummiest) restaurant. I'd been craving Ivar's salmon chowder for months but never got down there. So, I ordered something I wouldn't normally, but the Salmon Pot Pie. I'm in heaven just thinking of it. It was incredibly delicious. Dr. M ordered something fancy and his salmon paled in flavor compared to mine. mmmmm drooling just thinking of it. There are rare foods that make me drool like this! I should blog post on that restaurant - all it's own. It deserves it.

Dallas - went to the conference I go to every year (if possible). I got to meet up with an old DC roomie (L) and my next door college neighbor S. Found out S would be in Provo over Labor Day so after over 10 years of not seeing eachother, we were getting to see each other twice in 3 weeks. I loved going to S's house. Her mother-in-law cooked Indian food for us and it was soo yummy. I just had fun hanging out and catching up.

Labor Day weekend: Dr. M and I went on our first real extended (spent a whole week together for the first time) trip. We went to Utah and met ALL his college friends, my college and hometown friends. We had a blast. It was a crazy full weekend. We went to dinner Friday night with his college friends, went to the BYU football game on Saturday (I stayed at my friend C's house on Friday night but my air mattress lost air and her basement had flooded so the bed I usually sleep on wasn't accessible at the moment). We met up with my friends from PA!

Church - we went to his friend's house and then dinner at another friends house (they live 2 doors away from each other). Wierd friend cyberstalked me (own blog post someday). Got to hang out with PA friends.
Monday - went to breakfast with PA friends and another girl. Then, we had an hour to kill before Dr. M came to get me. What did we do? We went dress shopping!!! We went to David's bridal. I learned a lot and had so much fun. I'm so excited that my first memory of doing this for ME (a future bride? WOW) is just really really meaningful to me.
That afternoon, we went to lunch (at 2 PM) with his pseudo brother who works for the church security. I'm so grateful for that lunch. we had an inspired conversation and really had some great insights at that meal. That meal really didn't start until 3 and then we talked for 2 hours.
Dinner was with all our Campus Plaza friends. So, we went and picked up C, picked up dinner and then drove back to Provo to be with PA friends and CP friends. So much fun! I love that the timing worked out so great.
Tuesday, Dr. M and I went golfing with the friends who set us up together. K&J. K and I were roomies for 3 of my first 4 years in DC. We played 9 holes and I loved playing by her rules (more on that later in a different blog). After that, we went and picked up her son from a cousin's house and then went and tried on dresses at a Mormon dress shop. I love how Dr. M really has no idea.

Actually, the funny thing is, week's earlier, K had dropped off her wedding dress at a PA Friend's house so that I could try it on at the hotel. I always loved her dress and thought I would love it on me. I hated it. It was SOOOOO not me. I love it for her - but not for me. So, this week became very educational in what I want for me. And what my options are.

Tuesday night, we hung out with friends.
Wednesday morning, we flew back to Seattle.

So, during that weekend, something monumental happened. My Grandma N died. This was unexpected and hurt a lot. (I should dedicate a whole blog post to this too). The saddest part for me was my mom was going to see her in 10 days, Dr. M and I were going to see her in 2 weeks and my sister was going in 2.5 weeks. So I'm saddest about that missed opportunity to see her one more time. I am happy for her. She was 15 years without my Grandpa. She lived in pain every day. I love her very very much. Dr. M was wonderful for me and a great support during that whole time. Okay, crying while I write this and I am about to go out to dinner with Dr. M and his friends. So will have to talk about Grandma M later.

September: I drove down to Eureka and spent 2 weeks with my Mom, Aunt M and Uncle P. I have to dedicate blog posts about this. It was an EXPERIENCE. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm grateful I was able to be there for my mom. I helped clean out the house and get ready for an Estate Sale. We did something in 3 weeks that takes a service or families 4 months+ to do on their own. It was an incredible time. I am grateful and closer to my extended my family because of that. I even met up with my 52 year (oldest grandchild) cousin D. Found out he lives about 15 minutes from my work headquarters in California. We made plans for me to meet his whole family on my next trip.

October - I flew to California for a 10 year anniversary event that my work put on as a fundraiser. It was a great experience. I spent a lot of time with the AG of Utah. I really like him and think he's an incredible political leader. Two weekend later, I had my own yard sale. I made about $300. about $40 was things from my friend K that she wanted to get rid of. Since then, I've tried selling things on Craigslist and took a car load or 2 to Goodwill. Cleaning out my Grandma's house, made me want to condense my house items. Also, brought home a bunch of stuff from Grandma's, so wanted to make space for her things instead. I brought home a coffee end-table as one major piece of furniture. I love it because it was my Grandma's. Another favorite piece is a vintage 1950's lamp that I will someday hang in my house. So many treasures!

That weekend, I got a call to take my Grandpa to the ER. I did this and there are more details to share on this, but I'm grateful for the fact that I did take him to the ER. I'm grateful that 5 days earlier, I had taken him to the doctor. I visited him on Tuesday and on Thursday morning we got the call that my Grandpa had passed away. I'm sad. I am grateful the time that I got with him and that I know we did everything we could for him.

That week that Grandpa died was a very hard week for me. I had hard conversations with my parents about my relationship with Dr. M. I had a meeting with a realtor to find out my options with my house in a down/upside down economy and then was working with Grandpa who was sick and wouldn't let the doctor examine him when I took him there. He even hit me with his shoe (not gently). But that's all much more longer a story than I'm putting here.

This past weekend, we had another funeral in Eureka. All my extended family were there. It was great to reconnect with them. I will do a separate blog post someday on my thoughts of that event and all that transpired.

Tonight, I'm in Seattle. I'm about to go to DC for a week (really Delaware bookends the DC trip - to visit my parents and help my mom unpack in her house) and then I'll be in Seattle for 1 week for a conference and meetings. After that, it's the weekend before Thanksgiving. My parents are coming for Thanksgiving and I'm hosting it at my house. I'm excited and also know that this is probably the last year I host it at my house in Portland.

Also, in the midst of everything, I've been kicked out of the singles ward. They are cleaning house before they call the new bishop. Our bishop has been in for over 6 years. So, I switched my records a couple weeks ago. Originally, I was supposed to meet with my bishop and have him tell me to leave asap - but I took my Grandpa to the hospital instead. Then, because I'm traveling this month, i figured it was better for me to just transfer my records.

So, on my way from Portland, I stopped at the jewelry store that Dr. M's friend's have a connection to. I showed them my Grandma's original diamond wedding ring and talked about my options. I think we came up with a plan of sorts. Dr. M will have to go on a day with the designer is in-house (this weekend). In a way, I want him to take over and do his thing as the prospective groom. But I went ring shopping! (On my own, which was funny - but now Dr. M can go and take over).

Also, due to Family politics and maybe also because I really do want us to get married in January and the time is short in planning and making sure people can come, I will probably get officially engaged the week before Thanksgiving. The only pressure is, I've told Dr. M that the engagement story has to be a good one. So we'll see. My parents will meet him for the first time at Thanksgiving. We've asked to go to lunch or Dinner with them the day before - so they don't feel pressure of meeting him for the first time in front of my whole family.

I feel so at peace about Dr. M and I. I really do love him and feel like I prayed him into my life. We've had an incredible year. We've gone through some really trying things. And Dr. M asked, the night before my Grandpa died, "Can our lives get any more complicated" - well... I don't think we should ever ask that question again.

We have lots to figure out - but I'm confident we can have a fun event to celebrate our wedding and the first step into marriage.

Okay, is this posting of the cliff-notes version of my life, long enough? I think we're going to dinner soon. Dr. M is meeting with the other private practice therapists and a family who had a major tragedy a few months ago. They are working with the whole family to know what is best for three kids who tragically lost both parents on the same day. Their session should be over, but it's running long. I can't imagine what this family is going through. There are 3 kids. Their father killed the mother (in front of a therapist while they were in marital counseling) and he is now in prison. So, the kids have lost their parents and now individually meet with the three therapists here. Dr. M meets with the oldest - he's 9 and was closest with his father. My heart breaks and I don't even know details beyond that.

Okay - off for now. I definitely need to become a regular on this site again.
Smiles!

One year ago tomorrow/this weekend

I just realized that it was one year ago this weekend that I was falling in love with an illusion and thought I was going on a weekend date with the man of my dreams and future husband! How insane one year has been. My whirlwind summer began this weekend last year.

I just went to Facebook and looked up Mr. R. I look at the pictures of him and felt nothing. (Think "Chorus Line" - "I dug right down to the bottom of my soul ... to see what I could find.... nothing?). Actually, I feel the thoughts, "What a waste" and a relief that Mr. R is not who I am with. I escaped something that would have only lead to heartache somewhere down the road.

I am so blessed and lucky and grateful that I am with someone incredible; who loves me. Someone who is real and takes my good and bad... and likes me for everything that I am.

This relationship and all that I'm feeling is different than last summer and I can only be grateful for the chances to be able to start over again and that I haven't missed out on love this year. No regrets...

Series of 2 weeks...

Thus begins the series of two weeks apart :) Isn't that sounding cheesy!?!?

After that weekend, I visited DC and was traveling. I was gone for two weeks. In May, this would happen again. I would be gone for two weeks (Cruise to Alaska then off to Jacksonville for work). Week at home, then 2 weeks gone again (NYC then DC). So, we had to miss a few weekends. Yep, it's cheesy and crazy that we had to note it and how long those weeks seemed!